POTENTIALLY PREGNANT DIARIES {FACEBOOK STATUSES}

October 15

so every year, for our official anniversary {and yes, we actually have 2 anniversary dates…the reception date and the official date where we got wed at the courthouse}, husband and i will hit a sushi restaurant. and cause it’s our anniversary, i decided to order clam miso soup, salmon skin salad, tuna rolls, albacore sushi, fried tofu, fried chicken, octopus sunomono, a green iced tea, and a teriyaki chicken with tempura dinner which comes with some pickled stuff, a salad, and more miso soup. what’s sad is that i ordered all these items for myself. husband looked at me and was like, “u really going to eat all that?” and he knows once he says that, i’ll say, “yes.” and i will then proceed to eat all of it. and he’s like, “you’re gonna be sick.” and i’m like, “no, i won’t.” 2 hours later, i come home and got sick. ugggghhhhhh….xoxo.

{Little did I know I was eating all this food cause I may potentially be pregnant.}

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October 17

if u eat more food than normal, does that mean you’re pregnant? last nite, i had a bowl of noodle soup for dinner thinking that would be enough…and then i followed that up with 2 hot dogs, and then some tortilla chips and salsa, and then still wanted more food but was too lazy to nuke yet another hot dog or forced to chew more food. i was even tempted to open up my bag of ruffle chips that i’ve been saving for a special occassion. uggghhhhhhh….xoxo.

today for lunch, i hit lemonade where i proceeded to order a protein, two salads, and a cup of watermelon rosemary lemonade. after wolfing down my meal, i decided to also eat half of my husband’s sandwich. and then for dinner, we grab some teriyaki bowls. after demolishing my bowl, i told the husband i could prolly eat two more of these. he didn’t want to say anything cause he knows if he did, i’d order two more teriyaki bowls and wolf those down too. uggggghhh….WHY AM I EATING soooooo MUCH? and i can’t seem to stop myself. like as i type this, all i can think about is opening up my can of nacho cheese and eating that with tortilla chips and salsa.

seriously just googled, “how soon can i take a pregnancy test?” ugggghhh…xoxo.

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October 19

wants ribs and chicken wings. uggghhh…xoxo.

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October 20

trying to live without caffeine will be the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do in my life. ugggghhhh….xoxo.

all i can think about is sushi and a nice black iced tea. ugggghhhh….xoxo.

Is having sexy time right now…and by sexy time, me, a big bag of cheddar and sour cream ruffles, a nice tall glass of lemonade, and weeds…and by weeds, the show. Greatest Saturday nite there ever was. Xoxo

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October 23

to my friends and family, please do not congratulate me yet. it’s still too early. i mean, all i did was take 2 ept tests that came out positive. how legitimate are those things anyway? and how can u trust a stick that can’t even determine who the father is? on top of that, i believe this baby is happening as much as i believe in the tooth fairy…unless i see it, it’s not really real. uggggghhhh….so once i get confirmation, and by confirmation, an actual baby coming out of my belly, as of this moment, i don’t consider myself pregnant so i will now resume my life of drinking and partying. ugggghhh…xoxo.

tonite’s dinner consisted of me throwing 2 chicken sausages in a crock pot with a container of classico vodka tomato sauce. i swear, this fatigueness is killing me. my cooking is getting lazier and lazier. ugggghhh…xoxo.

as i was watching some food show last nite, this dude was having some fancy seafood meal with an iced tea in the background and i say to my husband, “wow…that iced tea looks MIGHTY good!” and then i started licking my lips. he started laughing. uggggghhh…i NEED my caffeinated iced tea soooo BAD. xoxo.

debating if i should get this doctor who looks like dr. mcDreamy to be my obgyn. uggghhh….xoxo.

i wonder if the husband will get pissed if i book an appointment with the hottest obgyn i could find vs. going with the doctor whose got more experience? i bet he’s gonna go with me to the appointment, see this super young doctor, and be like, “uh…you’re no longer allowed to make anymore medical decisions.” i seriously emailed the husband today with the link of this doctor i have to see with the message, “this is the obgyn i want. i hear he’s the BEST.” and by best, just a seriously good looking dude. ugggghhh…xoxo.

as the husband is working at home tonite, i spend this evening looking for potential baby things on amazon i’d like to buy…and apparently, if i say, “omg. this is soooo CUTE! it would look sooo adorbs on the baby.” husband will respond with, “u should get it.” and i’m like…wow…this is too easy. and then i said, “can i get a proenza shouler bag to put baby diapers in?” husband says, “why not?” and then i start laughing. and then he says, “did i accidentally agree to something i shouldn’t have?” good one dude. it’s like he actually sometimes pays attention to me. i swear, i hope i don’t have a child who acts out half as much as i do. ugggghhh…xoxo.

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October 24

so this morning i’m trying to schedule my first obgyn doctor’s appointment, and as i’m on the phone talking to the secretary, we’re trying to figure out how many weeks pregnant i am so we can determine when my appointment can be scheduled, i say to the secretary, “i think my husband and i HOOKED up about this time…so i guess i’m about this many weeks pregnant.” i can’t believe i seriously used the word HOOKED up. uggggghhhh…..the good news…appointment with dr. McDREAMY is really happening. why do i sound more excited about that than the fact that i may potentially really be pregnant? ugggghhhh…xoxo.

needs to incorporate more folic acid rich foods into my diet. uggghhhh….xoxo.

spending this evening NOT cooking and will be lying on the couch and watching tv for the rest of the evening. uggghhh…xoxo.

Was never informed that potentially being pregnant could leave me so constantly fatigued. I don’t even have the enthusiasm to even feel creative. Ugggghhhh

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October 25

today’s meals consisted of korean tofu soup for lunch, an in-n-out cheeseburger with fries and a lemonade for a later lunch, and tonite’s dinner will consist of prolly buffalo wild chicken wings with fries, cole slaw, and fried mushrooms. if i am potentially having a baby, this baby will be the fattest thing there ever was. uggghhhh….xoxo.

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October 29

so very tired…and it’s only 10 am. uggghhhhhhh…..xoxo.

11 a.m.: time for a nap. uggghhh…xoxo.

took a 2 hour nap at work today. came home and i think i need another nap. WTF. ugggghhhhh….xoxo.

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October 30

besides my normal symptoms of excessive fatigueness, today’s symptoms include a massive headache and nausea. this is NOT going to be a good day for me. i just want to crawl into bed soooo badly. ugggghhhh…i seriously wish i could have just bought a baby…xoxo.

in the process of now canceling all of my plans. this potential pregnancy thing sucks. uggghhhhh….xoxo.

apparently needs to load up on saltines, carbonated water, and ginger.

CRAPS. i had grabbed a salad at vons this morning and realized that my cobb salad comes with blue cheese dressing….and i can’t have blue cheese. DAMMIT. today is seriously the WORST day in the world. okay…it’s not. i know my east coast friends have it way worst. sorry for being sooo ungrateful. uggghhhh…xoxo.

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October 31

i swear, i have no idea how i can go from feeling nauseated one day where the thought of food makes me sick to craving jack in the box egg rolls for breakfast the next day. and yes, i am currently eating those egg rolls. uggghhhh…xoxo.

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November 1

my work outfit now seriously consists of a snuggie and me taking naps at 10 am. this is not good. uggghhhh….xoxo.

if anyone ever tells you that pregnancy is fun, they’re lying to u. unless by fun, it means your sense of smell gets heightened where food smells gross to u, yet you’re constantly feeling hungry, you’re always tired, u lack energy, u can’t have caffeine or sushi or unpasteurized cheese, your boobs hurt, and u like feeling nauseated, then yes, i’m having a party, all by myself. uggghhhh…xoxo.

now i’m craving thai food. now i’m not. WTF is wrong with me? uggggghhhhhhh….i wanna cry. xoxo.

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November 2

Wants gummy bears, teriyaki beef jerky, Godiva chocolate truffles, and real fruit punch. Ugggghhhhh.

I really hope I have a baby cause I have already started planning my baby shower. My bestie asked me how I want my shower to be like and I was like, hello. Fierce and fabulous. And then I told my sister she’s in charge of hosting it and started telling her exactly what I want at this party. I swear, I’ve been planning my baby shower for years…kind of the way women plan their wedding before they even have a bf. ugggghhh. Xoxo

now i want banh bot loc and com tam and some banh beo and che 3 colors. ugggghhhh….

today was a good day. managed to not really need a nap. did not feel nauseated or as fatigue as i usually do. i only had a billion food cravings. and then husband is now on his way home and told me he will NOT be working this weekend. woohoo! xoxo.

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November 4

Wants chili cheese fries for breakfast with a side of jalapeño poppers. Ugggghhhh

Now wants a tuna melt too. Ugggghhh….xoxo

Just called up my sister and told her if she wanted to hit jack in the box with me so I can grab some chili cheese fries, a tuna melt, and jalapeño poppers for breakfast. She was like, whoa. I was like, hello…that’s gonna be my breakfast. U can order whatever u want. I swear, a month ago, u couldn’t pay me a trillion dollars to eat this stuff for breakfast. Ugggghhh

Currently juicing with the sister. Her juices are brown in color. I am not drinking that. Ugggghhhh

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November 5

it’s nice to wake up and not feel like utter crap. and seriously, i don’t know what’s worst…feeling nauseated where u don’t want to eat or craving everything in sight and gaining close to 10 lbs. in one week. i may be at the point where i don’t want anyone to see me. i’m horrid, i tell u. horrid. i think i am now officially embarrassed to eat in front of people unless it’s the husband or my family cause i don’t think it’s cute to be eating my plate of food and then ask others if i can have the food on their plate too…or when my mom serves me food, even before she brings it to me, i’ll say, “i’m gonna need double that amount.” ugggghhhh….xoxo.

Debating if I want a second dinner right now. Uggghhhh

I swear, if I am gaining 10 lbs. per week, in 8 months, I am gonna weigh like 900 lbs. ugggggghhhhh. Vince, don’t leave me, please. Uggggh.

Just had my second dinner. After wolfing it down, i was like, maybe i should make myself a 3rd dinner. Husband was like, u should let ur food digest first. Now I just need snacks. I swear, I disgust myself. Ugggghhh

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November 7

was informed today that the first trimester will be tough but it’ll get better but then it’ll get worst again in the third trimester. it’s like telling me there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but once i see that light, i’ll be going back to hell. ugggggghhhhh…i would like to take this moment to thank the husband for dealing with me so graciously the past couple weeks…what used to be a happy Lo is now a Lo that is incredibly tired, angry, need lots of naps, and the only energy i am willing to put out are ones that incorporate food runs. ugggghhhh…xoxo.

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November 9

Needs to cut out carbs from my diet cause it tuns into sugar which can lead to gestational diabetes. I really hate my life right now. Ugggghhhh. I swear, before being potentially pregnant, I thought I’d only have to cut out sushi. I was wrong. This will seriously be the longest nine months of my life.

Congee for breakfast. I also decided that I need to set one goal for myself everyday so I can feel like I am accomplishing something so I can pull myself out of this depressive funk. I swear, I know I should be happy cause in less than a year, I may potentially have the baby I have always wanted but I never anticipated these feelings of sadness that seems to grip me. Ugggghhhh.

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November 10

Today’s goal….don’t lie on the couch for 20 hours straight. Ugggghhhh

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November 12

having such a hard time trying to stay awake. it’s going to be a very long work day. ugggghhhh….xoxo.

i swear, hopefully this weekend i’m told i’m actually pregnant and not that i’m just now just some lazy sleeping slob who just likes to eat a lot. and seriously, after getting my c-section, if i do indeed am having a baby, instead of sending me flowers, please bring me a nice black passion fruit iced tea, spicy tuna on crispy rice, albacore tuna with crispy onions, nem nuong rolls, pate, and unpasteurized cheese to my delivery room. and lots of deli meats. and sunny side up eggs with maggi seasoning and french bread. btw…7 weeks ago, i wore a size 23 to 24 sized jeans. yesterday, i had to borrow my sister’s size 27 jeans and it felt tight. i don’t even want to know how big i’m gonna be in 7 months. ugggghhh….i want nem nuong rolls soooo freaking badly right now. xoxo.

just called up my sister and asked her if she wanted to get some thai boat noodles with me for an afternoon snack right now. she says to me, “i seriously just ate.” and i’m like, “yeah. so did i. dude…it’s just a snack. come out!” and she’s like, no. uggghhhhh….i guess it’ll just be me and the husband for today’s food craving. xoxo.

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November 13

currently craving beef chow fun with gravy or indian food. ugggghhhh…xoxo.

almost passed out while talking to my secretary. pregnancy continues to suck balls. ugggghhhhh…xoxo.

just called the husband and told him, “we MUST get indian food tonite.” he says, “yes.” i swear, this dude has been stuck eating all my food cravings which change on a daily basis. yesterday, as he was taking off his clothes and getting ready to head into the shower at 10 pm, i say to him, “VINCE, i’m craving beef jerky. like RIGHT NOW.” he then proceeds to put his pants back on to go out and grab it for me. i was like, “i’m just kidding. u really need to learn to say no to me. i mean, it’s not like i’m gonna DIE if i don’t get this food craving. i’m just gonna go ballistic. that’s all.” ugggghhhhh…xoxo.

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November 14

this morning’s food craving consisted of me having to hit yoshinoya for a teriyaki chicken bowl for breakfast. my body continues to HATE me and then i wonder why i’m fat. ugggggghhhh….xoxo. btw…yoshinoya changed their chicken bowls and it tastes like crap. this craving was an epic failure. double uggggghhhhh….xoxo.

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November 15

i should know better than to google birthing questions on google. it only manages to scare the bejeezus out of me. uggggghhhhhh…..

wants enchiladas and an orange bang. and yes, i’m getting fatter with each passing day. ugggghhhh…xoxo.

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November 16

this morning’s food craving…a strawberry banana orange smoothie. xoxo.

Craving gumbo. Uggghhh

Wants a Cinnabon.

Sending the husband on a chicken tender and charbroiled BBQ chicken sandwich run. Debating if I should call him to grab me some fries too. Ugggghhhh.

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November 17

Today I got to see and hear a heartbeat in my belly and when I looked at the husband as we were looking at the ultrasound, he was crying. I was like, what? I only had one tear roll down my eyes. I know, I am a heartless bastard. Btw…doctor told me not to announce me being pregnant yet on fb. Husband was like, uh…too late. And yes, the doctor was what I anticipated him to be in person…young and hot. So I continue to be potentially pregnant and I have a feeling if I do ever have this baby, the husband is going to be an emotional mess. Xoxo

when your obgyn tells you that you’re further along in your pregnancy than u think u are, you’re left thinking, “craps. did i cheat on the husband and not even know it?” or “am i having god’s baby?” apparently, they count the weeks of your pregnancy based on the last day u get your period and not when u hooked up. i did NOT know this. also, apparently, u can’t drink green tea cause it screws up how folic acid gets to your baby. now u know. oh yeah…when i was getting my blood test done today {did NOT know they do blood tests on u when u get pregnant}, as the dude was drawing blood, i had my head down cause i can’t stand the site of blood or needles. the dude says to me, “are u still alive? i can’t hear u breathe.” i whimpered, “yes. still here.” ugggghhh….the dude and husband thought it was funny when i was crying as i was being led to the room where i’d be getting blood drawn. dude was like, “uh…i haven’t done anything yet.” and i was like, “but u will.” uggghhh…xoxo.

something u don’t want to hear when you’re about to get blood drawn: “you have really nice veins.” uggghhhhhh….xoxo.

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November 19

craving pho. just pho. xoxo.

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November 20

this morning’s breakfast consists of a banh mi thit nuong, a mango smoothie, a cinnabon, and crystal shrimp spring rolls. tonite’s dinner craving are fish tacos. ugggghhhh….i seriously had to hit two locations in order to fulfill my morning’s food cravings. uggghhhh…xoxo.

my obgyn just called me right now to tell me i’m vitamin d-3 deficient. the good news..he says i can have fish tacos for dinner tonite. uggghhhh…xoxo..

to my friends who have babies…what are things babies need? so far, all i got on my list of potential things i may need to buy is a crib and a bassinet and some fabric cloth diapers. ugggghhhh…xoxo.

lately, i find if i don’t have food or snacks around me at all times, i freak out. ugggghhhh…xoxo.

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November 21

craving chiu chow noodles and nem nuong rolls sooooo badly right now. ugggghhhh…xoxo.

currently THANKFUL for every week that i am able to continue to carry this baby. not to be a debby downer, but my doctor was telling me that there’s a 20% chance of miscarrying a baby during the first trimester. i swear, pregnancy is soooo STRESSFUL! anyway, happy early THANKSGIVING to everyone and i know we have much to be thankful for. we live in a most awesome country! xoxo.

i swear, the only texts my husband gets from me these days usually go along the lines of this, “can we eat [CURRENT CRAVING] once i pick u up from work?” or, “i know i was supposed to try to cook tonite and eat healthier, but now i WANT this.” to all potential dudes who may potentially have a pregnant significant other, be ready to get FAT. uggghhhh…xoxo.

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November 22

Breaking dawn was seriously the dumbest movie ever! My sister had to bribe me with nachos, raisinettes, and fruit punch so I can sit through the entire movie without falling asleep. She knows I am now easily won over by food. Ugggghhh

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November 25

Looking forward to getting chiu chow noodles for breakfast. Xoxo

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November 26

husband’s bday is coming up this week. i asked him if he wanted to go anywhere to eat for his bday. he says, “i want to cook for u.” and then i ask him, “what do u want for your bday?” he says, “i want hugs and kisses.” i was like, “ugggghh.” i swear, i hope our future child is as easy as this dude. with my luck, i’ll get a kid who is a monster like me and want disneyland with 100 of her closest friends. uggghhh…xoxo.

lately, i find myself wanting a volvo station wagon. it’s like…who the F am i? i don’t even know myself anymore. and then last nite, i think i experienced acid reflux. uggghhhh..xoxo.

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November 27

Wants to take a nap now. Making a sandwich wiped me out. Ugggghhh

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November 28

so my constant craving every morning this past week has been dim sum…and by dim sum, those fried things with meat inside, a steamed chicken bun, and chicken sticky rice. i really need healthier food cravings. ugggghhhh…xoxo.

despite only being potentially pregnant, i began trying to come up with a guest list for the baby shower of my dreams…and then realized, holy crap, i have 100 names on my list. i think my sister who is hosting it is gonna kill me if i tell her i want 100 guests at my shower, so now i need to figure out how to narrow it down to 30 cause i really want an intimate baby shower. a question to all the dudes out there…do you HATE attending baby showers? i seriously had to google, “do dudes like attending baby showers?” xoxo.

received some pregnancy/baby books from a friend yesterday so this morning i told my husband, “make sure u read those books so our future kid can learn to sleep through the nite early on cause i do NOT want to have to wake up in the middle of the nite due to some baby crying. that’s gonna upset me.” he says, “okay.” if it isn’t obvious, i’m illiterate and i really like my sleep. ugggghhh…xoxo.

started to open up “what to expect when you’re expecting” and the first thing i see are more pregnancy symptoms that women get during the course of their pregnancy and i quickly thought to myself, “F**k me. DAMMIT.” and then i quickly closed up that book. i have a feeling that book is seriously going to scare the crappers out of me. it’s kind of like when my sister tells me how when her friend got a c-section done, the doctor had to take out the organs from the belly and then put it back into the body. and i was like…WTF? don’t they just take out a BABY? ugggghhh…i swear, the LESS i know. the better. ugggghhhh….xoxo.

my mother is WAY more excited about this baby than me. she told me she couldn’t wait to start sewing some custom clothes for this rug rat. i told my mother, “let’s wait till i really do have this baby first or at least till the doctor tells me i am officially pregnant.” uggghhh…xoxo.

HATES it when my fb friends post food pics cause seriously, i now WANT a half and half milk tea with pudding and honey boba soooo badly….and i think that’s something i’m NOT supposed to be consuming in my condition. ugggghhhhh…..life feels soooo utterly tragic right now. xoxo.

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November 30

Broke down. I couldn’t take it anymore and now having a hong kong style honey milk iced tea. Ugggghhhhh

Soooo freaking ecstatic that my cravings are finally dissipating. Hopefully feeling like crap all the time will be the next to go. Xoxo

Today’s lunch consists of bread and butter pickles and teriyaki beef jerky. And ginger ale. Xoxo

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December 2

Dragging the husband to the 626 again cause I need my chiu chow noodle fix. I think these noodles have been my constant #1 craving. What’s crazy before this noodle binge is that I prolly last ate these noodles like 5 years ago. Pregnancy continues to perplex me. Ugggghhh.

Wants to start designing a nursery. All I’ve got so far is throwing in a chandelier and wall paper. Husband was like, kids will draw on the wall paper and u’ll get pissed. And I’m like, what kind of monsters would draw on a wall? Ugggghhh.

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December 3

apparently the husband and i have vastly different parenting styles. he believes in discipline and i believe in letting my child run buck wild. if anyone actually knows my husband, i’m sure once we actually have a child, the husband will be putty in this kid’s hands. i have yet to hear the husband utter the word, “No.”

i’m spending this evening working on a playlist for my potential baby shower and the song that will prolly be playing on repeat despite my guests’ chagrin will be salt n pepa’s “Push It.” xoxo.

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December 4

debating how badly i want popeye’s for dinner tonite. greasy fried chicken that is going to taste so delicious with it’s first bite and then taste disgusting after my 3rd piece or yakiudon instead. this will be a tough call. uggghhhh…xoxo.

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December 5

needs to learn to control my cravings. like right now, i want naeng myun noodles soooo freaking badly but i’ve already prepped baby back ribs and bbq chicken along with coleslaw and baked beans for dinner tonite…so do i go eat these cold noodles cause it just hit me 5 minutes ago that i want them or do i go home and eat what i prepped last nite? ugggghhhhhhhhhh….xoxo.

told the husband that this year, we will not be celebrating xmas. i don’t have the energy to decorate the xmas tree. my only xmas wish this year is for us to have a healthy baby next year and for me to finally be able to refinance my underwater condo. please make all my wishes come true…i’ve been somewhat good this year. ugggghhhhh…xoxo. oh yeah…if it’s also not too much to ask, please let me have a girl cause i have no idea how to handle a boy baby. uggghhh…xoxo.

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December 6

i had ceviche for breakfast. and like seriously, last nite, the husband was like, “how do u come up with your cravings? how do u know exactly what u want to eat? do u see it somewhere and then want it? cause i never know what i want to eat until u put it in front of me.” i wish i knew the answer to that but i don’t. btw…cold korean noodles on a very cold nite was not exactly the best idea..but it sure was delicious. here’s hoping i have no cravings for today cause i really need to finish cooking up those ribs tonite. uggghhhh…xoxo.

sushi gen would sooooo hit the spot right now. ugggghhhhhh….xoxo.

this weekend, my sister and i will be doing some arts and crafts, visiting some babies, having a slumber party, and grabbing dim sum. and yeah…u guessed it, i’m most excited about the dim sum. uggghhhhh….when did food become my kryptonite? oxox.

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December 7

Craving bun Bo hue, nem nuong, and banh beo. Ugggghhhh

WHERE is my MOTHER? told her i was willing to do some blue collar work today if she picked me up and took me to get all of my food cravings. she says, “why can’t u drive over here?” i said, “it’s cause i’m pregnant.” so she says, “okay.” yes…i’m not officially pregnant yet but i’m learning to use the pregnancy card to get exactly what i want. uggghhh….xoxo.

HATES it when u go in for a haircut and u tell the lady u want it cut to your shoulders and next thing u know, she’s pulling out an electric razor and razoring your neck and i’m like…WTF? how SHORT did u seriously cut my hair? and then when i was able to put my glasses on to see what she did, i seriously almost cried. i currently have something i would like to call WORST than a MOM haircut. it’s like a bowl cut but puffy. good thing i no longer care about my looks. DAMMIT. uggggghhhhh….xoxo.

oh yeah…and then when she was done demolishing my hair, she was like, “do u want me to put hairspray in it?” and i thought to myself, “i don’t think hairspray is gonna fix the travesty that u have just caused to my life.” so i looked at her and said, “NO.” i think she was pissed cause she wanted to do some oil treatment on my hair initially but i was like….what’s the point? yes, i’m the cheapest client there ever was. oh yeah…i also loved it that after my atrocious haircut was done, another hairdresser told me i would look really good if i dyed my hair. i was like…u must be freaking kidding me. LOOK at me! i’m a FREAKING monster. the good news…i now look like a mom. here’s to hoping that tomorrow, my obgyn tells me i’m actually pregnant or else this haircut was freaking POINTLESS and i’m gonna be really pissed. uggghh…xoxo.

needs to start working on some burp cloths cause apparently i’m gonna need craploads of them. uggghhhh….xoxo.

Wants chicken mcnuggets. Good nite! Xoxo

HATES it when my sister tells me that the mcRib is back. she knows i’m not supposed to be eating processed meats right now. ugggghhh…xoxo.

BOILED PORK, SHITAKE MUSHROOMS, AND SHRIMP DUMPLINGS WITH A GINGER SCALLION CHILI SAUCE


There is nothing I LOVE more than handmade dumplings. This dumpling consists of all of my favorite things…pork, ginger, shrimp, and Shitake mushrooms. Feel free to use either fresh Shitake mushrooms or the dehydrated kind. Either one will work just fine.

Boiled Pork, Shitake Mushrooms, and Shrimp Dumplings with a Ginger Scallion Chili Sauce

Source: Lo Huynh (2 servings | 12 dumplings)

Ingredients:

Dough:
¾ cup all purpose white flour or bread flour
½ teaspoon kosher salt
¼ cup cold water

Dumpling Filling:
4 ounces ground pork
2 ounces shrimp, chopped
2 each shitake mushrooms, chopped
1 tablespoon scallions, minced
1 teaspoon Chinese rice cooking wine
1 tablespoon corn starch
½ teaspoon granulated sugar
½ teaspoon kosher salt
⅛ teaspoon ground white pepper

Ginger Scallion Chili Dumpling Sauce:
2 tablespoons Chinese sweet black vinegar
1 tablespoon Mama’s chili sauce {preferable} or Sriracha chili garlic sauce
2 tablespoons Kikoman soy sauce
1 teaspoon sesame oil
1 teaspoon fresh ginger, finely minced
1 clove garlic, finely minced
1 tablespoon fresh cilantro, chopped
2 tablespoons scallions, chopped

Dough:
1. Make the dough by mixing the flour and the 1/2 teaspoon salt together.
2. Make a well with the flour and add the cold water.

3. Using a fork, mix the flour and water together until it is combined.
4. Using your hand, knead the mixture together until a dough forms.
5. Knead into a ball shape, wrap with plastic wrap, and let the dough rest for 15 minutes.

Dumpling Filling:
Mix the pork, shrimp, mushrooms, scallions, ginger, Chinese cooking wine, cornstarch, sugar, salt, and white pepper in a bowl.

Ginger Scallion Chili Dumpling Sauce:
1. In a bowl, whisk together the Chinese black vinegar, Mama’s chili sauce, soy sauce, cilantro, scallions, sesame oil, ginger, and garlic. Set aside.

Making Dumplings:
1. Roll the rested dough into a log about 12-inches long.
2. Cut the log into 12 pieces.
3. Roll each piece into a ball.
4. Using a rolling pin, dust the pieces with some flour.

5. Roll out each piece into 3-inch round wrappers.
6. Fill the wrappers with about 1 tablespoon of filling.

7. Fold the wrapper filled with the dumpling filling in half and seal with water. You can either just fold them in half and call it a day or make pleats by pinching the edges together to form pleats.

Cooking the Dumplings:
1. Bring a pot of water to a boil.
2. Add the dumplings to the boiling water.
3. Bring the dumplings to a boil.
4. Add in a cup of water once the dumplings boil.
5. Once the dumplings boil again, add in another cup of water.
6. Once the dumplings have basically boiled three times and have floated to the top, scoop the dumplings out and add it to the ginger scallion chili dumpling sauce.
7. Toss the dumplings with the dumpling sauce until well combined. Serve hot.

GARLIC NOODLES WITH SHRIMP

Since I don’t live close to an Asian supermarket, I was forced to make my own Chinese egg noodles which was a VERY BAD idea. It took me forever to make. I should have ran the noodles through my pasta machine versus hand cutting them and then stretching each strand piece by piece. I mean, the noodles came out tasting really good and rustic but I don’t think I’ll be doing that again, unless I have like 3 hours to kill, because yes, it took me 3 hours to make these noodles which the husband wolfed down in like ten minutes.

I highly recommend using fresh Taiwan yellow noodles if you can get your hands on them. If not, and you’re in a pinch and just craving garlicky noodles badly, you can just use spaghetti. Or if you have the time, and have a billion hours to kill, feel free to make your own Chinese egg noodles.

My mise en place.

Depending on what noodles you want to use, cook or blanch them first and set aside.

In a hot wok, start cooking the sauce first.

Add the shrimp.

Then add the noodles and serve with chopped cilantro and freshly grated parmesan cheese.

Garlic Noodles with Shrimp

Source: Lo Huynh (4 servings)

Ingredients:
½ pound large shrimp, (16 to 20 size) peeled and deveined
9 cloves garlic, minced
2 stalks scallions, chopped
6 tablespoons sweet cream butter
1 pound fresh Taiwanese yellow noodles {blanched}, fresh Chinese thick egg noodles {recipe follows}, fresh chow mein noodles {blanched}, or spaghetti {cooked al dente}

Sauce:
½ teaspoon kosher salt
1 tablespoon granulated sugar or brown sugar
1 teaspoon fish sauce
1 teaspoon Maggi seasoning
1 tablespoon oyster sauce
1 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 tablespoon Chinese cooking wine

Garnishes:
2 tablespoons fresh cilantro, chopped
1 tablespoon fresh parmesan, grated

Directions:
1. In a hot wok, add the sweet cream butter with the minced garlic.
2. Once the butter melts, add the chopped scallions. Saute for a minute.
3. Add the sauce ingredients and cook for a couple minutes.
4. Add the shrimp and saute until fully cooked when it is orange in color.
5. Add the noodles and coat with the sauce.
6. Garnish the noodles with cilantro and parmesan cheese.

********

If you have a billion hours to kill, make these noodles…or to shorten the time, I would recommend just running the dough through your pasta machine versus hand cutting them.

First make the dough by mixing A/P flour and salt together. Make a well and add your eggs.

Knead the dough and shape it into a ball. Wrap with plastic and let it rest for at least 30 minutes.

Roll out the dough.

At this point, you can hand cut it as I did or make your life easier and run it on your pasta machine using the spaghetti noodle size.

Dust the noodles with A/P flour so they don’t clump together.

Cook the noodles so they’re al dente. Depending upon the size of your noodles, it can take anywhere from 10 minutes to 20 minutes.

Fresh Chinese Egg Noodles:
Ingredients:
2 ½ cups all purpose white flour
½ teaspoon kosher salt
3 each large eggs

Directions:
1. Make the noodles by mixing the all purpose flour with the kosher salt in a bowl.
2. Make a well and add the eggs into the flour.
3. Mix with a fork and then start kneading for about ten minutes, or until your mixture starts turning into a dough.
4. Shape the dough into a ball.
5. Wrap the dough with plastic and let rest for 30 minutes.
6. Cut the dough in half. Flour a cutting board and roll out the dough so it’s 1/6″ thick and then cut into thin strips.
7. Coat the noodles with flour so they don’t stick together.
8. Depending how thick your noodles are, cook the noodles in boiling water for about ten to twenty minutes. Rinse with cold water and they are now ready to be cooked in your dish.

HAINAN CHICKEN RICE

I LOVE Hainan chicken rice. If I have time, I like to make it old skool style, using a whole chicken which I’ll poach and then use the broth to cook the rice with and make a nice soup to go along with the dish. With the leftover stock, I like to just freeze it and use it for future meals.

If I’m short on time, I’ll forgo the whole chicken and just use chicken breasts with some ready made chicken broth, and by ready made, some Asian stock that I’ve stored in my freezer. By the way, if you don’t have homemade Asian chicken stock and just want to use canned chicken broth, I highly recommend diluting the canned chicken broth with a can of water, unless you like your food more on the salty side. I’ve included the old skool version and the quick version of this recipe for you.

To poach the chicken and make the broth, you just need to throw the ingredients into a stock pot. Bring it to a boil, remove the scum and let this gently simmer for about an hour.

A little over an hour later, you get this beautiful broth and nicely poached chicken.

After letting the chicken rest for about 30 minutes, cut it into pieces. Slice the chicken into bite size pieces right before serving.

If I know I’ll be using a lot of ginger and garlic, I like to get it all chopped up in my food processor. {By the way, I HATE my Cuisinart food processor cause this is seriously my third food processor from them cause it keeps breaking down. I highly recommend getting a Robocoupe if you have the money. That will probably be the next food processor I’ll get once this one breaks down…which will happen MOST likely. uggggghh.}

Nicely minced ginger and garlic will be used to cook the rice and make the sauces with.

To cook the rice, if you are using a package of Jasmine rice that states you don’t need to wash it first, you can forgo washing the rice at least three times and then letting it drain and dry. In a pan, heat up some oil. Add the minced ginger and garlic and saute until it is fragrant. Add the rice and saute until it is lightly golden in color.

Put this rice in your rice cooker and add the chicken broth to the 2-cup rice line. Set the rice cooker to cook.

Cut up the cucumber. I forget what this tool is called but I used it to peel some of the skin from the cucumber and I think it gives it a better presentation in addition to removing some of the bitter taste from the skin.

There are the ingredients for the soup. I know, the gizzards do NOT look very pretty.

Make the various sauces and set aside.

Serve the cooked rice with the poached chicken and various sauces.

Hainan Chicken Rice

Source: Lo Huynh (4 servings)

Ingredients:
Poached Chicken and Chicken Broth:
4 pounds whole chicken
16 cups water
2-inch piece fresh ginger, peeled
1 each large yellow onion, peeled and cut in half
4 cloves garlic, peeled
1 tablespoon kosher salt
1 tablespoon granulated sugar

Hainan Rice:
2 tablespoon canola oil
2 cups jasmine rice
1 tablespoon garlic, minced
1 tablespoon ginger, minced
2 cups chicken broth, from poached chicken

Gingered Fish Sauce:
1 tablespoon ginger, minced
1 tablespoon garlic, minced
2 tablespoons fish sauce
2 tablespoons white vinegar
2 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons water

Soy Ginger Dipping Sauce
4 tablespoons peanut oil/canola oil
1 tsp soy sauce
1 tablespoon ginger, minced
2 stalks green onion, chopped

Ginger Salt Dipping Sauce
3 tablespoons canola oil
1 each green onion, chopped
2 tablespoons ginger, minced
1 tsp kosher salt

Chili Lime Sauce:
1 tablespoon lime juice
4 tablespoons chicken broth
2 teaspoons granulated sugar
1 teaspoon Sriracha chili garlic sauce
2 cloves garlic, peeled
1-inch piece fresh ginger, peeled

Garnishes:
8 sprigs cilantro
¼ each yellow onion, julienned
¼ each English hothouse cucumber, sliced into thin rounds

Soup:
4 cups chicken broth
1 ounce bean thread noodles
gizzards from cooked chicken, chopped up, optional
2 tablespoons cilantro , chopped
1 stalk scallions, chopped

Poaching Chicken and Chicken Broth:
1. Put the whole chicken, 16 cups water, 2-inch piece ginger, large yellow onion, 4 cloves of garlic, kosher salt, and granulated sugar into a large stock pot.
2. Bring to a boil and skim off the scum.
3. Semi-cover the stock pot and simmer for 1 hour, or until your chicken is fully cooked.
4. Remove the chicken from the broth and let rest on a plate for 30 minutes before cutting it up to be served. Remove the gizzards from the chicken and set aside for the soup if you choose to serve it.
5. Strain the broth.
6. Reserve 2 cups of broth for the Hainan rice and 4 cups for the soup to go with this dish. The rest of the broth can be stored in the freezer and used for future meals that require an Asian chicken broth.

Chicken Hainan Rice:
1. Wash the Jasmine rice at least three times, drain, and let dry. If you use a Thai Jasmine rice where the package states you don’t have to wash the rice before cooking, you can omit this step.
2. In a pan, add 2 tablespoons canola oil. Add 1 tablespoon minced garlic and 1 tablespoon minced ginger. Add rice and saute until slightly golden. This should take about a minute or two.
3. Put rice grains in a rice cooker and add the proper amount of liquid using the liquid used to poach the chicken. I generally adhere to the lines that are found on the rice cooker and generally find that 2 cups of broth works for me.
4. Turn your rice cooker on.

Dipping Sauces:
1. For the fish sauce, mix together the ginger, garlic, sugar, vinegar, fish sauce, and water.
2. For the ginger soy sauce, heat the oil. Turn off heat and then add the ginger, green onion, and soy sauce.
3. For a plain ginger green onion dipping sauce, heat up 3 T. vegetable oil. Turn off heat and add to 1 green onion chopped, 2 T. minced ginger, and 1 tsp. salt.
4. For the chili lime sauce, process the lime juice, poaching liquid, sugar, Sriracha chili garlic sauce, garlic, and ginger in a food processor. If you don’t have a food processor, you can just blend this sauce in a blender.

Soup:
1. In a stock pot, heat 4 cups of the chicken broth and chopped up gizzards if you choose to serve them.
2. If you think your stock is too bland, season with salt and sugar.
3. Bring the broth to a boil, add the bean thread noodles and cook for about a minute.
4. Turn off the heat.
5. Serve with some chopped cilantro and scallions.

Plating the Hainan Chicken Rice:
1. Serve the rice with the poached chicken on a plate with the sliced English hothouse cucumbers.
2. Garnish with the cilantro sprigs and serve with the dipping sauces on the side.

*********

Quick Version: Hainan Chicken Rice

Source: Lo Huynh (4 servings)

Ingredients:
4 each chicken breasts
2 cups homemade Asian chicken stock
2 cups jasmine rice
1 tablespoon garlic, minced
1 tablespoon ginger, minced

Dipping Sauces:
Gingered Fish Sauce:
1 tablespoon ginger, minced
1 tablespoon garlic, minced
2 tablespoons fish sauce
2 tablespoons white vinegar
2 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons water

Soy Ginger Dipping Sauce
4 tablespoons peanut oil/canola oil
1 tsp soy sauce
1 tablespoon ginger, minced
2 stalks green onion, chopped

Ginger Salt Dipping Sauce
3 tablespoons canola oil
1 each green onion, chopped
2 tablespoons ginger, minced
1 tsp kosher salt

Chili Lime Sauce:
1 tablespoon lime juice
4 tablespoons chicken broth
2 teaspoons granulated sugar
1 teaspoon Sriracha chili garlic sauce
2 cloves garlic, peeled
1-inch piece fresh ginger, peeled

Directions:
1. Poach chicken breasts in the chicken broth by bringing the broth to boil, add the chicken, bring the broth to simmer and cook the breasts in the broth until it is fully cooked.
2. Set chicken breasts aside.
3. Wash the jasmine rice at least three times and drain.
4. In a pan, add 2 T. oil. Add 1 T. minced garlic and 1 T. minced ginger. Add drained rice and saute until slightly golden.
5. Put rice grains in a rice cooker and add the proper amount of chicken broth.
6. Make the dipping sauces.
7. For the fish sauce, mix together the ginger, garlic, sugar, vinegar, fish sauce, and water.
8. For the ginger soy sauce, heat the oil. Turn off heat and then add the ginger, green onion, and soy sauce.
9. For a plain ginger green onion dipping sauce, heat up 3 T. vegetable oil. Turn off heat and add to 1 green onion chopped, 2 T. minced ginger, and 1 tsp. salt.
10. For the chili lime sauce, process the lime juice, poaching liquid, sugar, Sriracha chili garlic sauce, garlic, and ginger in a food processor. If you don’t have a food processor, you can just blend this sauce in a blender.
11. Serve the rice with the poached chicken breasts sliced with the dipping sauces.

BANH CANH TOM CUA {VIETNAMESE SHRIMP AND CRAB UDON}

This is my ultimate comfort food on a cold dreary day or honestly, any day. I know you can buy the pre-packaged banh canh noodles but I prefer making them from scratch. That way, I know exactly what’s going into these noodles. On top of that, the prepackaged noodles either taste WAY too greasy for me or the texture doesn’t have the chewiness or consistency that I like. Anyway, I hope you ADORE this dish as much as I ADORE it.

This is the crab meat and crab paste I used. You can use jumbo lump crab meat if you’re fancy. I just use the stuff in the jar or can cause I have to cook on a budget. Uggggghh.

Mix the shrimp, crab meat, and seasonings in a bowl and set aside.

Prep the garnishes.

I like using chicken stock that I’ve made. I just take it out of my freezer, quickly run it under hot water.  I’ll add this chicken broth into my pot later.

You will also need two eggs for this dish.

Okay. Lets start cooking! The first thing we’ll want to do is get a stock pot, add some oil to it. Once it gets hot, add the shrimp and crabmeat mixture and cook until your shrimp is fully cooked.

Add the broth to this and since I used frozen chicken broth, I’ll just cover this up with a lid so it’ll defrost faster. Bring the broth to a boil.

Add the fresh banh canh noodles to the boiling broth and cook for about ten minutes or until the noodles no longer have a starchy taste and are translucent.

Add the eggs and gently whisk into the soup.

The soup should look something like this. If you want the soup to be thinner, there are two things you can do. You can blanch the noodles first before putting it into the broth to remove excess flour or you can add more water and readjust the seasonings. I personally like my soup thick so I kept it as is.

 

Banh Canh Tom Cua {Vietnamese Shrimp and Crab Udon}

Source: Lo Huynh (4 servings)

Ingredients:
1 tablespoon yellow onion or shallot, minced
2 cloves garlic, minced
¼ pound shrimp, peeled, deveined, and roughly chopped up
6.5 ounces crab meat, drained
¼ teaspoon red chili flakes
2 teaspoons granulated sugar
1 teaspoon kosher salt
½ teaspoon ground black pepper
1 teaspoon fish sauce
1 tablespoon crab paste

8 cups chicken broth, preferably homemade
2 each large eggs

Noodles:
1 ½ cups tapioca starch
1 ½ cups rice flour
½ teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup boiling water
rice flour, additional for dusting

Garnishes:
¼ each yellow onion, julienned
2 stalks scallions, chopped
2 tablespoons fresh cilantro, chopped
4 tablespoons fried red onions

Directions:
1. Mix the shrimp, crabmeat, garlic, onion, red chili flakes, crab paste, sugar, salt, fish sauce, and black pepper together in a bowl.
2. In a hot stock pot, add 1 tablespoon canola oil. Once the oil is heated, add the shrimp crabmeat mixture and cook until the shrimp is fully cooked. This should take about five minutes.
3. Add the chicken stock and bring to a boil.
4. Add the banh canh noodles and cook until the noodles are transparen and there is no longer a starchy taste to the noodles. This should take about ten minutes.
5. Whisk in two eggs.
6. Serve your banh canh in a bowl and garnish with the yellow onions, green onions, cilantro, and the fried red onions.

* If you want the soup to be thinner, there are two things you can do. You can blanch the noodles first before putting it into the broth to remove excess flour or you can add more water and readjust the seasonings.

******

For banh canh noodles, use tapioca starch and rice flour.

Mix the tapioca starch, rice flour, and kosher salt together in a bowl.

Add BOILING water, mix with a fork, and then knead until a nice dough forms.

Wrap in plastic and let rest for 30 minutes.

Cut the dough in half to make rolling out easier.

Roll out and cut into strips.

Dust with more rice flour so the noodles don’t clump and stick together.

The finished noodles!

 

Banh Canh Noodles:
Directions:
1. Make the noodles by combining the tapioca starch, rice flour, and kosher salt together. Mix well.
2. Add boiling water and mix with a fork until combined.
3. Knead the mixture for about ten minutes until it forms into a nice dough.
4. Wrap the dough and let the dough rest for 30 minutes before rolling it out.
5. Cut the dough in half so it’ll be easier to roll.
6. Sprinkle some rice flour on a cutting board and roll out with a rolling pin until it is about 1/4″ thick. Cut into long strips about 1/4″ wide and coat with more rice flour so it doesn’t clump together. It is now ready to be used for your banh canh.

THAI SPICY BASIL SHRIMP AND CALAMARI

The aromatics.

The mise en place.

The sauce.

Cook this dish in a very hot wok!

Add the basil last and turn off heat.

Thai Spicy Basil Shrimp and Calamari

Source: Lo Huynh (4 servings)

Ingredients:
1 teaspoon cilantro stems, minced
1 tablespoon shallot, minced
3 cloves garlic, minced
½ each Thai bird’s eye chili, minced

½ pound large shrimp, peeled and deveined
½ pound calamari rings
½ pound green beans, washed, trimmed, and cut into 1/3 {about 2″ segments}
½ cup baby corn

½ cup fresh Thai basil leaves

2 tablespoons canola oil

Sauce:
1 tablespoon fish sauce
1 tablespoon oyster sauce
1 tablespoon sweet soy sauce
1 tablespoon chicken broth
2 teaspoons granulated sugar

Directions:
1. Mix the sauce ingredients and set aside.
2. Over high heat, add the canola oil to a hot wok.
3. Add the cilantro stems, shallots, garlic, and Thai bird’s eye chili. Saute for about a minute.
4. Add the shrimp and calamari. Saute for about three minutes or until halfway cooked.
5. Add the green beans and baby corn. Saute for about five minutes or until the green beans are tender but still crunchy, or until your desired doneness, and shrimp and calamari is fully cooked.
6. Add the sauce ingredients to coat everything and cook for another minute or two.
7. Add the fresh Thai basil, mix for about a minute, and turn off the heat. Serve with Jasmine rice.

HONEY JAMAICA {HIBISCUS TEA}

This tea tasted more like a punch…a wonderfully delicious yummy punch! Make this drink for your next party!

This tea is so simple to make. All you have to do is throw in the dried jamaica flowers with the sugar and honey in a pitcher and let this steep for about 15 minutes. Let this cool and serve over lots of ice!

Honey Jamaica {Hibiscus Tea}

Source: Lo Huynh (8 servings)

Ingredients:
8 cups water
½ cup dried jamaica flowers
¼ cup honey
¾ cup granulated sugar

Garnish:
1 each lime, thinly sliced

Directions:
1. Boil the water.
2. Put the honey, sugar, and dried jamaica flowers in a pot or pitcher that can withstand boiling water.
3. Pour the boiling water into the pot or pitcher. Stir the liquid so the honey and sugar dissolves.
4. Steep for 15 minutes.
5. Strain into a pitcher. Let cool.
6. Serve over ice and garnish with limes, if desired.

ROASTED TOMATILLO SAUCE

I LOVE tomatillo sauce. This sauce goes great with tacos and muy delicioso with tortilla chips!

The first thing you’ll want to do is season the tomatillos, red onion, garlic cloves, and jalapeno and then drizzle it with extra virgin olive oil.

Then you’ll want to roast these ingredients.

Put the ingredients in a food processor, add the lime juice and salt, and pulverize everything together.

And then you get rewarded with the best roasted tomatillo sauce like ever!

Roasted Tomatillo Sauce

Source: Lo Huynh (1 cup)

Ingredients:
¾ pound tomatillos, husked and rinsed
3 cloves garlic
¼ each red onion
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
1 each jalepeno, stemmed and seeded
tt kosher salt
tt black pepper

1 each lime, juiced
1 teaspoon kosher salt

Directions:
1. In a sheet pan, season the tomatillos, garlic, onion, and jalapeno with kosher salt and pepper. Drizzle everything with the olive oil.
2. In a 400 degree Fahrenheit oven, roast for thirty minutes.
3. Put the ingredients into a food processor along with the lime juice and 1 teaspoon kosher salt and pulse until smooth. Serve with tacos!

ROASTED SALSA ROJA

The next time you want to serve tacos, make your own salsa! I promise it’ll taste better than the store bought stuff and it’s really easy to make!

This salsa only uses 4 main ingredients.

Roast the ingredients.

Pulverize the ingredients in a food processor.

 

Roasted Salsa Roja

Source: Lo Huynh (1 cup)

Ingredients:
4 each Roma tomatoes
½ each yellow onion
3 each serrano chili, remove membrane
3 cloves garlic, peeled
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
1 teaspoon kosher salt

2 sprigs cilantro
1 each lime, juiced
tt kosher salt
tt black pepper

Directions:
1. In a 400 degree Farenheit oven, roast the Roma tomatoes, onion, serrano chilies, and 3 cloves garlic. Sprinkle with some kosher salt and black pepper. Drizzle with extra virgin olive oil. Roast for about 30 minutes.
2. Add the ingredients to a food processor. Add the cilantro, 1 teaspoon kosher salt, and lime juice and pulse until smooth.
3. Serve with tacos or tortilla chips!

SCALLION OIL

This is a great condiment to put on a bunch of Vietnamese dishes like thit nuong or banh bot loc or com tam dishes.

Chop up the scallions.

Cook the scallions in some oil.

Scallion Oil

Source: Lo Huynh (3 tablespoons)

Ingredients:
3 tablespoons canola oil
3 stalks scallions, chopped

Directions:
1. In a small sauce pan, heat up the canola oil over medium heat.
2. Once the oil is hot, lower the heat to low medium heat and add the scallions.
3. Cook the scallions for about a minute and take off heat.