PREGNANCY RANTS

December 11, 2012

the husband’s company holiday party is this saturday. this actually gives me anxiety. it means i need to wear actual clothes and be out in public. ugggghhh…xoxo.

hates it when reality hits. i had initially wanted to spend X amount for a nursery…but then i wanted to refinance my condo too…so the husband tells me since i’m wanting to refi, i only have x amount now for the nursery…and by x amount, that basically totals to a ZERO amount…so now i have to make magic happen with a ZERO budget..i hate having beluga caviar tastes but a mcDonald’s value menu budget. dammit. uggghhhh…xoxo.

debating how badly i am craving thai food. uggghhhhh…xoxo.

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December 12, 2012

yesterday, my husband tells me that we may not be able to go to his company’s holiday party this year cause he may be stuck working this entire weekend. he then asked me if i was disappointed. i should have used that moment to say i was disappointed and then guilt him into giving me money for the nursery of my dreams. unfortunately, i’m the opposite of being disappointed. not having to go to his company holiday party means i will NOT have to brush my hair that day, put on make up, pluck my eyebrows, or find a dress in my closet that i can actually fit into. i swear, attending this holiday party was seriously giving me anxiety. ugggghhhh. it’s funny how as a teenager, i looked forward to the day where i could get out of my braces and discard my coke bottles and wear tons of make up and buy cool clothes to wear…and as an adult, wearing sweats and looking like crap is now what makes me happy. it’s a good thing i’m not a social human being. xoxo.

needs to start designing a quilt for a baby. xoxo.

damn u mcDonald’s and damn u Nhan for incepting me with the thoughts of getting a mcRib sandwich and by incepting me, telling me the mcRib is back. so i’m at mcDonald’s and was like…oh…i’ll just get the mcRib…just the mcRib. i go in and the sandwich is $2.99 so i’m like…dammit, if i’m gonna splurge today, i’ll need a medium order of fries with that, but then that now runs an additional $1.89…so if it’s that costly, then i should just go crazy and get a coke and make it a combo. so as i order the combo, the cashier tells me i can get another mcRib for only $1 more. so i’m like…dammit. gotta do it. i just gotta do it. so now i have 2 mcRibs and eating and drinking a bunch of crap that i normally would not eat or drink. and i hate the fact that it tastes sooooo DAMN good right now. uggghhhhh….xoxo.

is hoping i can talk the husband into putting a chandelier into the nursery this weekend. since he put me on a ZERO budget, i’m basically taking the chandelier that is currently in our den and having him reinstall that into the nursery. slowly making magic out of nothing. story of my life. uggghhhh….xoxo.

seriously just added a baby wipes warmer to my baby registry…cause yes, god forbid i wipe my baby’s booty with a cold cloth. i swear, i did NOT even know wipe warmers even existed until this past weekend. i swear, motherhood is going to kick my butt. uggghhhh….xoxo.

needs to hit pa ord tonite for thai boat noodles and crispy pork with chinese broccoli. thanks for putting that thought into my head Felix. i’m sure vince will appreciate being dragged to hollywood tonite in order for me to fulfill tonite’s food craving. uggghhh…..i swear, my life consists of looking up baby things to buy and eating and eating. xoxo.

despite the fact that i’ve been feeling tons better since i’m now heading into my 2nd trimester, i like to pretend i’m still fatigued so i can get away with everyone doing stuff for me. is that horrible? yes. xoox.

Husband informed me tonite that he won’t have to travel for work this weekend so we r now back to hitting his holiday party. Dammit. Ugggh. I really hope I can find a dress that will fit me or else I will be attending this party wearing a pantsuit.

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December 13, 2012

Debating if I want to order a crib today. Uggghhh

just ordered a girly crib not knowing if i’ll be having a boy or a girl. i am obviously jumping way ahead of myself. ugggghhhh.

project making this nursery cost less than $500 is underway. ended up going with the jenny lind crib vs. the dwell studio mid-century crib {which by the way is the MOST beautiful crib known to humankind}. and rather than getting some fancy chandelier, i will be taking the one from our den and throwing it in the nursery. and instead of blowing money on fancy wallpapering, i will opt to do nothing instead. yes…this child will have to be born into a world of non-privilege and the simple life of non-glamorous things. uggghhhh….xoxo. sorry kid. your parents are ghetto. i should name u oliver twist but ur parents will be alive and your mother is just cheap.

craving banh canh. big time. xoxo.

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December 15, 2012

seriously turned on my computer this morning…walked away for a minute to go make some congee…came back and asked my husband WHY did he turn on my computer without asking me? and he was like, “uh…didn’t u turn it on? i saw u walk over to your computer this morning.” and i was like, “oh yeah.” damn pregnancy brain. uggghhhhh…xoxo.

today was a most productive day…and by productive…the husband, not me. i spent most of my day lying on the couch and watching cooking shows while the husband set up the chandelier in the nursery for me, did laundry, and switched out the batteries in our fire alarms. my only real goal today is to figure out what i want to wear to the husband’s holiday company party and due to my anxiety of having to get dressed up for this event, i called my sister to see if she wanted to go in my place and was like, “hey…what are u doing tonite? u wanna go to vince’s holiday party? it’s gonna be catered by wolfgang puck and there’s gonna be some circus so lei stuff. it should be really fun!” and my sister was like, “uh. i already have dinner plans.” and i was like…dammit. uggghhh…xoxo.

started to go into nesting mode today. husband was like, “what’s nesting?” i was like, “i think that’s what pregnant ladies do.” xoxo.

Leg cramps and back pain. I swear, the pregnancy gifts keep coming. Uggghhhh.

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December 17, 2012

instead of purchasing xmas cards this year, i told the husband he had to hand make them using some card stock i had purchased, a white pen, and some holiday tape. surprisingly, he made cards that were cooler than what i could come up with. although i don’t think he found much enjoyment in making them. i have a feeling my future child is going to hate my guts when i tell them they have to hand make cards too…they’re gonna be like, “r we poor? is that why we have to hand make these cards?” and i will say, “yes child. we’re poor.” uggghhh….xoxo.

sooooo freaking excited for peking duck for our holiday meal. ugggghhh…i HATE sounding like a person who likes to eat a lot. xoxo.

Started using bio oil tonite. Please work. Uggggh.

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December 18, 2102

debating if i want to get the mama mio oil or butter. uggghhhhh….xoxo.

butter cream it is. i swear, i’m like the cheapest person in the world when it comes to my shampoos and soaps…but when it comes to this pregnancy thing, i’m like…i don’t care how much this cream costs…if it can potentially help in avoiding stretch marks, i will pay for it. give me the BEST. uggghhh…xoxo.

when i tell people i’m pregnant, they’ll usually say, “wow. u don’t look pregnant at all.” and then i like to proceed to lift up my shirt and show off my belly. and yes, i can’t believe i’m about to be a mother. uggghhhh…xoxo.

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December 19, 2012

dinners at our home, when i can actually bring myself to cook, now consist of trailer trash cooking. a week ago consisted of tacos where i purchased ready made taco shells, ready made salsa, and then cooked up some ground up beef. last nite consisted of spaghetti which took me 5 whole minutes to cook up some ground beef and throw jarred spaghetti sauce into the pot. tonite, i will be making enchiladas and u guessed it, more ground up beef, some enchilada sauce {hopefully i can bring myself to actually make my own sauce vs. the canned version}, store bought tortillas, and cheese thrown on top. i swear, next week, i’ll probably be buying hamburger helper. ugggghhh…and i haven’t been posting up food pics, cause yes, the food has not been very appetizing to look at. i really can’t wait to have the baby already so i can go back to cooking with less processed items. xoxo.

Had dinner tonite but lately been having late nite cravings. Had the husband make me hot and sour soup. Now I’m making him get me a chocolate toffee bar, hot fries, and fruit punch. Ugggghhh

I need to force myself to sleep so I can wake up and have an iced tea with the raspberry Danish I bought for tomorrow’s breakfast. I really hate my body rite now. Uggghhhh

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December 20, 2012

i really HATE that i LOVE to EAT food so much now. ugggghhhh….and seriously, last nite, i made the husband bring our TV that was in our den into our bedroom so i can lie in bed while eating hot and sour soup, hot fries, toffee chocolate, and drink fruit punch in bed. i really disgust myself. the OLD Lo HATES having the TV in the bedroom and could never fathom EATING in bed. now i can’t imagine NOT eating in bed. husband even asked me if i wanted him to bring me my toothbrush so i can brush my teeth in bed. the offer was quite tempting. i act like i’m a 800 lbs. woman.

i spend a lot of my time now looking for baby things to buy and food i’d like to eat. i really miss the OLD Lo. i really hope she comes back soon. ugggghhh…xoxo.

i hope the husband doesn’t leave me. i really need to put myself on a diet although i attempted to do that the other day. did not work out too well. uggghhhh….xoxo.

debating how badly i want sushi tonite for dinner. xoxo.

i find myself craving the chicken fried steak at the Pantry. uggghhhh….xoxo.

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December 21, 2012

so i just got a call from the doctor’s office. the secretary tells me, “i’m calling from dr. HOT DUDE’s office.” i completely freak out and my heart beats fast as she says, “i just wanted to give you the results of your first trimester testing.” i was like…omg. i hope everything is okay…i mean, why am i getting a call? and she says, “your results came back normal.” and then all was well again with the world. i swear, having a baby is sooo stressful for me. having this baby has made me realize there is nothing i want more in life than a healthy baby. that is my xmas wish this year. everything else just seems so non important. anyway, today, i need to get my act together. xoxo.

Debating how badly I want a burger and fries rite now. And yes, it’s midnite. Ugggggghhhh.

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December 22, 2012

I am currently craving chiu chow noodles and Taiwanese food at the same time. Which food type do I give into? Dammit. My cravings are insane. Or do I go do an Asian food crawl for breakfast? Uggghhhh

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December 23, 2012

Would like to punch pregnancy insomnia in the face. Ugggghhhh

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December 24, 2012

needs to spend today hopefully being able to talk the husband into taking the crib apart so we can turn the guest room into the nursery since the nursery room feels super small and just doesn’t feel right to me. it’s gonna be tough cause the husband needs to crawl up the attic space in an attempt to figure out what’s wrong with our bathroom ceiling fan. it’s not going to be a fun day. uggghhhh….xoxo. i told the husband i’d rather have to give blood on both arms and see the dentist than have to go into our attic.

I guess the nursery stays as is cause the sister tells me my house will look ghetto if I switch the rooms. Ugggghhh. I guess what is more urgent is the fact we need to hit walgreen’s cause I need Andy Capps hot fries and chocolate bars.

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December 25, 2012

I don’t think husband appreciates me dragging him out of bed at 7 am to go grab tamales on Xmas day. I will consider this my Xmas present. Ugggghhh

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December 26, 2012

needs to start working on a baby quilt. xoxo.

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December 27, 2012

Wants dim sum now. Ugggghhh

Couldn’t trek to get dim sum this morning cause we have to wait for the cable guy to get here to install the cable that my sister got us for Xmas. Ugggghhh…we will soon be couch potatoes.

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December 31, 2012

i don’t feel pregnant. i just feel fat. ugggghhhh….xoxo.

Spending this nye having a dexter marathon with the husband and eating leftovers. It feels weird that this will be the last year where it will just be the two of us. Xoxo

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January 2, 2013

seriously happy i’ve been feeling tons better cause then i can get back to doing what i love…and that’s actually being able to cook dinners for me and the husband! oh yeah…apparently bloody noses is yet another pregnancy symptom. DAMMIT. i was wondering why my nose was bloody when i NEVER get bloody noses. also, my back pain sucks cause i now sometimes need the husband to help pull me out of bed cause i can’t get up on my own. uggghhh….xoxo.

apparently bets are being made with regards to my pregnancy. my sister and mother are betting whether i’m having a girl or boy and apparently, there’s a bet going on whether i’m really going to stick with cloth diapers or get frustrated and end up using disposable ones. i’m glad people can gain from the birth of my child. uggghhhh…xoxo.

just asked the husband for my upcoming baby shower, since i want to invite kids too, if he’ll dress up as a clown or does he want to do balloon animals at the party. his response, “i’m definitely NOT dressing up as a clown. i hate clowns.” and i’m like…whoa…is this dude seriously taking my question seriously? uggghhh…xoxo.

just asked the husband if he’d be willing to dress up as justin bieber for our future child’s 1st bday party. he surprisingly said, “Sure.” i was like…WTF? i then asked him if he’d sing and dance too. he whispered, “OMG. OMG.” and smiled. i have no clue what that means. okay…dexter time. xoxo.

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January 3, 2013

Wants sanuki no sato soooo badly. Wished I lived closer to Torrance. Ugggghhh

Do those post baby belly band/girdles/corsets actually work? Xoxo

on saturday, i find out if i will be getting a cute lil boy or not.

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January 5, 2013

today at the doctor’s office, the ultrasound technician asked me if i wanted to find out the baby’s gender. i said, “yes.” she says to me, “you’re having a boy.” i teared up. this was not the answer i wanted. and then i felt bad for feeling like that. cause for one, i should be grateful that i’m currently told the baby looks healthy so far and two, i think i wouldn’t be given something in life that i couldn’t handle. now all i can hope for is that this boy will be exactly like his father…someone good-natured, smart, handsome, and happy. i’m sure once all this sinks in, i will be grateful that i’m having a boy…the pro of having a boy is that i won’t have to buy maxi pads for this child when it’s a teenager nor will i have to deal with girl drama. cause yes, those are my immediate thoughts when i’m told i’ll be having a boy. uggghhh…xoxo.

before finding out i would have a boy, i envisioned a family trip to paris where my 5 year old daughter and i would go shopping at the chanel store whilst vince stands waiting around with a credit card to pay for our purchases. now my dreams have been squashed and i see camping, bugs, and snowboarding trips in my future…and a house filled with toy cars…lots of them. uggghhh…xoxo.

needs to now go on my baby registry and get rid of all the girl things i had picked out for this baby such as fringe minnetonka boots and cute pink things. uggghhhh….xoxo.

sometimes i’m surprisingly grateful that i can’t make all of my life’s decisions on my own. cause seriously, if u asked me this morning if i wanted a girl or a boy, i would have chosen a girl. and then when i realized i would be getting a boy, i was NOT happy at the doctor’s office cause i’m used to {for the most part} getting what i want. and then it dawned on me tonite, how incredibly LUCKY i feel to be having a boy…and how much i look forward to seeing my husband being an awesome father to his son, and me, just getting to be a big part of that. i really can’t wait for this rugrat to get here! this will be the longest 5 months of my life! xoxo.

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January 6, 2013

will be spending today attempting to finish the burp cloths and i really need to start designing a quilt for a baby boy…and then make some flannel baby shoes with leather bottoms. uggghhh….xoxo.

need to also start making BOY baby bibs too. uggghhhh…soooo much to do…so little time before this rugrat arrives! xoxo.

may potentially be getting a caterer for my baby shower since i’ll prolly be too pregnant at 8 months to actually cater it myself. i told the caterer the concept i want to go with is a play on school lunch trays…and yes, that’s all i got as far as thoughts and concepts. uggghhh….xoxo.

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January 7, 2013

caterer is booked for the baby shower! woohoo! i can’t wait to see what menu ideas he comes up with! xoxo.

debating if it’s necessary to sign up for child birthing classes. uggghhh….xoxo.

dammit. did my baby boy just kick me in the stomach? is that even possible? uggghhh…

pregnancy is NOT exactly my best look. i’m obviously busting out of my clothes but can’t bring myself to buy maternity clothes cause maternity clothes are freaking UGLY and i can’t justify buying clothes that i’ll only wear for a couple months. uggghhh…xoxo.

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January 8, 2013

needs to purchase dowels today cause i want this weekend’s projects to include making several mobiles for our baby boy. i’m thinking a cloud mobile, a sheep mobile, and a vintage feathers mobile. i swear, i think i’ve currently got 20 baby projects lined up and i have like 2 months to accomplish this. uggghh….xoxo.

realized this morning that i’m over the school house theme. back to the drawing board. uggghhh…xoxo.

so i’m at home depot purchasing dowels so i can make a couple baby mobiles, and the dowels are 48″ long and i’m like…dammit. that means i’m gonna have to cut them. so i cut them with a saw at home depot and they look like crap. and i’m just like…maybe that’s why mobiles run $150 a pop. i swear, i look at these mobiles i want and i’m just like, how hard can it be to make these mobiles? $150 bones? that’s crazy…and then i just did the first step which was to cut these dowels and i’m already in trouble. uggghhh….hopefully the husband can sand down the ends so it doesn’t look like complete crap. xoxo.

it feels weird to be utterly in love with something u can’t currently see. xoxo.

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January 9, 2013

finally told my boss that i’m pregnant. she tells me to let the secretary know not to schedule any patients while i’m on maternity leave. so i tell the secretary to not schedule any patients for the month of july. the secretary asks me, “does that mean we don’t have to come in too?” and i’m like, “uh. r u HAVING a baby?” ugggghhh….xxo.

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January 10, 2013

so i asked to see my bestie’s baby registry today to see what kind of other stuff i may need to add to my registry and apparently her registry is actually filled with things that actual babies need like pacifiers, baby creams, baby toys, etc. my baby registry currently consists of baby shoes that match my shoes…such as new balances, adidas, minnetonkas, and corsets for me cause god forbid, i don’t get back to my pre-baby size. i don’t think i’m as prepared for baby as i thought i was. uggghhh…xoxo. oh yeah…today i was told that my nursery looks nice but i may need more functioning things in this nursery like a rocking chair that actually rocks so it can put a baby to sleep. i was like…WHAT? these things need to work too? double uggghhh…xoxo.

now needs to research rocking chairs that actually look nice. uggghhh…xoxo.

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January 11, 2013

instead of cleaning up the house like i’m supposed to, i’m spending my morning looking at baby clothes on petit bateau to purchase. ugggghhh….xoxo.

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January 12, 2013

It hit me last nite what the colors for the baby shower should be. That gave me much excitement. Uggghhhh.

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January 14, 2013

the closer i get to having this thing called a baby, the more i find myself actually wanting to not share so much about my life. i’m sure the husband will be grateful for that. husband is incredibly private whereas i have no problems letting u know how many times i had to pee today. and since i am pregnant, that was a lot. i think it’ll be funny that when i do have this baby, no pics of the rugrat will be posted {due to the husband’s need for privacy}…and you’ll prolly think i faked my own pregnancy cause i like attention. which of course, wouldn’t be so far from the truth due to my constant need for attention. uggghhh…xoxo.

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January 15, 2013

Super psyched to be having Belly of the Beast cater my baby shower! Also super stoked to have my awesome bro-in-law create a homemade handcrafted beer for this event! Xoxo

My husband thought it’d be a good idea to sign me up for a nurse practitioner so I can have someone on call. So this person calls me and asks me a billion health questions and the call ends with her telling me that maybe I should be set up with their nutritionist since I am underweight for being 4 months pregnant. And she’s like, “how does ur obgyn feel about ur weight?” and I am like, “he tells me I a fine.”. I just don’t believe in stuffing my face in if I am not hungry cause I know whatever I put in my body now, I will have to figure out how to get rid of it after this baby is born. I am tempted to get rid of this nurse practitioner cause I no longer have a billion pregnancy questions to ask. I figured all the crap that is happening to my body is normal and my obgyn can handle it. I also don’t like being told what to do. I hope my future child doesn’t have as much problems with listening as I do. Ugggghhh

so hot doctor obygn dude calls me today to let me know that my 2nd trimester testing came back and i’m healthy and good. which of course makes me a happy human being. i swear, this doc is like a ray of sunshine. xoxo.

nursing cover and baby sling arrived today. it’s like xmas. although the bigger xmas present was when we finally got our ceiling fan for our bathroom installed. i LOVE my contractor! xoxo.

instead of baby shower games, i told my sister we should stick with drinking games since the party will be unisex. and since my bro-in-law might brew a pony keg for this party, my sister told me she wants to do keg stands at the party. this baby shower is slowly turning into a frat party vs. the classy black tie baby shower affair i had envisioned in my dreams. ugggghhhh….xoxo.

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January 16, 2013

surprisingly super excited about all the handouts i’m getting from people! i apparently have no qualms about taking people’s used baby toys, clothes, and other baby related things. i swear, this kid is gonna have more stuff than me in our house! xoxo. the only thing i will NOT be taking are used diaper cloths. uggghhh….xoxo.

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January 20, 2013

Spending the day in bed watching girls with the husband cause I know in less than 5 months, my husband and I will never get these kind of moments again. Xoxo

as my husband and i was looking at some baby dress shirts to buy today, husband apparently had no issues paying $30 for BABY dress shirts. i was like, “dude…we don’t pay that kind of cash for your work dress shirts!” so i told him i’d try to get custom made dress shirts using the old dress shirts that my husband no longer wants. i figured, that way, the baby can get a shirt that is actually made from his father’s clothes…which to me, feels like it’d have more meaning behind it and it’d be more an heirloom piece. now i just have to figure out how to sew up baby dress shirts. uggghhh….xoxo.

i think it’s funny how people are actually subscribing to my “baby shower mix” on spotify. it’s basically a bunch of songs that will be played at my baby shower. and then instead of getting it catered cause i’m having a hard time narrowing my guest list down to 30 guests, i think we’re gonna go with mediterranean as the food theme. the good news…i’m still sticking with the mustard, gray, and red as the color theme. uggghhh…xoxo.

as we were shopping at janie and jack today, i saw some seriously uber cute baby girl dresses. my husband says to me, “we can always try for another one.” i looked at him and was like, “uh. u get pregnant and U have it.” i swear, i haven’t even gone through the hard part of giving birth yet and i know there is no way i can see myself EVER wanting to get pregnant again. i look forward to having a mini vinnie and then attempting to get my old body back. i don’t see myself putting my body through pregnancy again. uggghhh…xoxo.

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January 22, 2013

this morning’s breakfast consists of a breakfast jack and two tacos. my body is seriously going to hate my guts. i am starting to gain more weight than i’d like. i have 5 more months to go and only have 10 lbs. that i’m allowed to gain. that is what sucks about being pregnant…like, my stomach seriously no longer feels full. i have to seriously look at what i’m eating and be like, “LO…seriously FREAKING STOP. whatever u PUT in your mouth will be excess weight that u will have to figure out how to lose in 6 months.” and then of course, i continue to eat. no freaking WILL POWER. ugggghhh….xoxo.

my husband sometimes cracks me up. so i say to him, “i’m gonna get upset at you if our future child learns to pack his lunch for school and you can’t pack your own lunch for work.” he says to me, “oh…i plan on packing our kid’s lunch…but can u still pack mine?” uggghhh….xoxo.

is officially now putting myself on a pregnancy diet…although right now all i can think about is where i want to EAT for valentine’s day. ugggghhhh….xoxo.

when i said i’d be going on an official pregnancy diet, it meant i would apparently gorge tonite at senor fish. uggghhh…i really hope they have orange bang..that would really hit the spot and make my nite. i really HATE feeling this way. and by feeling this way, u know…being the type of person who now looks FORWARD to every FREAKING meal. xoxo.

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January 23, 2013

so happy i have no obligations this weekend…no doctor appointments, no social events to go to, etc…..it will be an arts and crafts filled weekend as i attempt to get stuff made for this rugrat! xoxo.

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January 24, 2013

on the way to work today, my husband actually says to me, “i hope you don’t teach our kid ebonics.” i respond, “i hope u don’t teach our kid how to be square.” okay. i didn’t say that. i did say, “whatever.” and yes, our parental decisions are now being made on the way to work. ugggghhh….xoxo.

dammit. just spent this morning buying a bunch more baby clothes. uggghh…i swear, this kid is going to need a walk in closet before he’s even born. i swear, this past week, i’ve spent more money on this kid’s wardrobe than his nursery. this is NOT good. i tell myself, “don’t buy it Lo. kid don’t need it.” and then i see something cute and find myself reaching for my credit card. ugggghhhh…xoxo.

i think the ONLY thing i like about being pregnant, besides the fact that i’ll be getting the baby of my dreams, is that i can pretend to say, “oh…we have to grab this type of food cause that’s what i’m craving.” and everyone is like, “ok. then we must get that.” and NO ONE questions it. it’s like i’m constantly now getting what i want…when it comes to food anyway. i think after i give birth, i’m just gonna pretend i got pregnant again so i can continue to get my way. uggghhh…xoxo.

my bestie asked me today if i was planning on taking those couple pregnancy classes. i told her no cause the more i know about pregnancy, the more i wish i hadn’t gotten pregnant. she told me she was planning on taking them so her husband can be involved and he can know about husband coached birthing techniques. i told her on the day i give birth, my husband will be lucky if i don’t punch him in the face. i’m sure i’ll be busy screaming, crying, and passing out and if he’s like, “Lo, it’s gonna be okay…just breathe and push. you’re doing great!” i’ll prolly be like, “YOU BUST out a WATERMELON through your private parts!” uggghhhh…xoxo.

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February 1, 2013

this morning, i asked the husband if he could build a custom shoe rack for our baby cause i need a cool looking shoe rack to fit into this kid’s closet. he asks me, “how many pairs of shoes is this kid going to have?” i didn’t respond. uggghhhh….xoxo.

When the doctor gives u potential not so great news about ur baby, all that ran through my mind was…this is not really happening and u r left wanting to cry. Had to get more testing done and just crossing my fingers that my baby will be okay. Will be spending today in bed cause I can’t deal. The next two weeks as I wait for the results will be the most stressful two weeks of my life.

Thank you to my friends who checked up on me. I continue to be grateful for such good people in my life. After a good cry and a call back from my Sexy obgyn doctor dude, I feel much better. I swear, the new doctor I had to see today was such a douche. As of right now, it’s just a waiting game. It feels so crazy to be so in love with a baby u’ve never met and the thought that something might be wrong with him left me with so much heartbreak and it pains u to feel for all the things u can give him, the only thing u can’t give him is what he needs the most…and that is perfect health. I really hope this baby will be ok and I know I won’t be ok until I find out that he’s ok. Sorry for such a Debby downer status update. I will shut up now. Xoxo

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February 3, 2013

my bday wish this year is to hear the words that my baby will be okay. i have never wanted anything more than this in my entire life. xoxo.

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February 5, 2013

i continue to be forever grateful for the support i have been receiving from family and friends. and last nite, my neighbor emailed me to check up on my pregnancy status, i told her about my last check up and she comes over to my house with pastries and offering support and whatever i may need. i swear, i have the BEST neighbors ever! it’s moments like this that makes me thankful for the life that i have…xoxo.

last nite, i was showing off miles’ nursery to my neighbor and she says to me, “i LOVE the chandelier in this room.” and i got soooo excited! cause i seriously designed his nursery around the chandelier. i know…the crap i get super excited about. xoxo.

u know u r way too OBSESSED with dexter and will most likely be a bad parent when u tell your husband, “i swear, if our kid is like dexter and kills things, i will prolly say to our child…what do u need me to do to cover the evidence for u?” uggghhh…xoxo.

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February 6, 2013

i HATE that these words were uttered from my lips this morning…i looked at my husband and said, “should we get a bugaboo stroller for the baby?” bugaboo just sounds really dumb. uggghhhh…xoxo.

needs to get the dishes done and redo one of the feathers for the baby mobile. i swear, i HATE being a perfectionist. and then i have to debate whether i want to start on the baby shoes or take a shower and crash for the nite. what i HATE about being pregnant besides having to piss a lot is that once i get into bed at around 9 pm, i will immediately knock out. uggghhh….also, i find myself talking to my baby in my head…like i say to him, “miles. please be okay. i love u.” and then i hope i’m not going insane. xoox.

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February 7, 2013

at work trying to finalize some rush reports and then attempting to design a baby cloud mobile that incorporates leather raindrops in it. i’m sure my husband is going to be like…WTF? and i’ll be like…””WHAT? baby mobiles don’t normally have LEATHER in it? i swear, this baby is inspiring me to create outside the box. thanks for being my muse miles. and by being my muse, kicking me in the stomach all the time. i think it’s your way of saying, “mom, make me cool stuff so i come into a world filled with beautiful things.” i LOVE u lil dude! i will try my hardest not to disappoint u. xoxo.

spending my morning researching baby strollers. uppababy vs. orbit vs. bugaboo. and yes, these are names for baby strollers. and seriously, when did strollers start costing more than like $10? i swear, i was prolly pushed in a $5 stroller when i was a baby and i managed to survive. uggghhhh…i swear, i can’t bring myself to super size my fries cause i don’t want to fork over an extra dollar and i LOVE fries, but u tell me to blow $$$ for the best stroller in the world for my baby, i don’t question it. xoxo.

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February 8, 2013

got the BEST birthday present ever today! husband told me the clinic called him to let him know my blood test results came back and our child doesn’t have down syndrome. u cannot even imagine how freaking HAPPY i am. i swear, the past week or so has been incredibly stressful as i pondered what we were going to do if the results came back differently. now we just have to worry about the hole in our baby’s heart but i am hopeful that our lil dude will be okay. i am just grateful that i wasn’t faced with having to decide whether i was going to have an abortion or not. and then of course, everything always comes in droves cause a package arrived to me today from a friend and it was filled with gifts for baby miles. i am and continue to be grateful for my life. xoxo.

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February 9, 2013

Looking forward to my bday maternity massage. Xoxo

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I want to make some cool onesies for baby miles. So far, all I’ve got is “el jefe” and “I love the smiths.” Any recommendations for cool sayings on a shirt? Xoxo

this morning’s breakfast consisted of thai fish cakes, chicken pad thai, beef panang with steamed white rice, and thai beef salad. i also washed all this down with a bottle of coke. and then i wonder why i am fat and wearing pajama jeans to work today. uggghhhhh…..xoxo.

for my bday this year, i finally got a gate put in for our backyard so it’ll be ready for my baby shower and just ordered over $50 worth of snap buttons and pliers so i can put cute plastic snaps on miles’ custom bibs. do NOT ask me why i just did that. and i love it when my husband asks me, “oh…what do u want for v-day/bday?” and i’m like, “oh…don’t worry about it. u already purchased it.” uggghhhh…xoxo.

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trying to locate my puffy fabric paint cause these onesies need to be freaking FIERCE! or at least shine bright like a diamond. i really think my kid is going to seriously HATE me. uggghhhh…xoxo.

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February 17, 2013

U know u r pregnant when u request all u can eat Chinese food for ur bday lunch. Ugggghhh…

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February 19, 2013

debating if a diaper bag is actually necessary. uggghhh…xoxo.

will spend tonite curing the onesies, making some thank you cards, doing some refinancing paperwork {please PRETTY please let this refinance go through…uggghhhh}, finalize my baby shower menu, and start working on my guest list. why do i feel like the most i’ll prolly accomplish will be taking a shower, rubbing some mama mio butter over my expanding stomach, and then watching craploads of HGTV? xoxo.

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February 20, 2013

to my FEMALE friends who have had babies…after u gave birth, did u use a belly band or those corset things? and if so, did it work? and if it did work, which one did u get? i sooooo NEED to know! xoxo.

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February 21, 2013

Spent last nite putting some storage shelves together for the lil rugrat’s closet. Now I think I want to paint his closet green so his closet can pop. His closet is going to look sooo much cooler than mine. Ugggghhh. Xoxo

Now I am debating if I want his closet vintage mustard yellow vs. green instead. Uggghhh

husband opted for vintage mustard yellow for the baby’s closet. apparently, he’s not a fan of very bright colors. uggghhhh….xoxo.

so it takes me about an hour to sew up EACH finger puppet. i hope my kid doesn’t accidentally flush them down the toilet. uggghhhh…xoxo.

This baby is kicking me like crazy. I’m just like…dude, take a nap or something. Mama wants to watch hgtv in peace. Ugggghhh.

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February 22, 2013

despite the fact that i HATE themes and anything fun or cutesy, i’ve decided to have two themes for my baby shower and that’s a mexican food theme and a white party. i have a feeling by the time the party arrives, i’ll somehow throw in hello kitty and a tiki party theme too. i know…NOT cool, at all. uggghhh…xoxo.

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February 24, 2013

Looks forward to cooking Sunday brunches for my family. I feel like this rugrat is gonna inspire me to create more. Can’t wait for my 2nd muse to come along. I swear, I envision the husband and miles watching cartoons on Sunday mornings in their pjs while I prepare brunch for us and that thought makes me über happy. Really can’t wait for this kid to arrive! Xoxo

debating if i should paint the baby’s closet myself today since the husband is busy working or will the paint be too toxic for me? uggghh…xoxo.

just googled “is painting walls bad for pregnant women?” and the answer was yes. uggghhh…sorry miles…i’ll have to talk to your dad about painting your closet now. maybe i’ll bake some millionaire shortbread instead today and attempt to finish your quilt instead. and yes, i’ve started facebook talking to my future child. uggghhh. xoxo.

debating if i want to do snakes on a plane inspired baby mobile. or keep it safe and just do airplanes and clouds. uggghh…xoxo.

bibs are cut and now ready to be sent off to production for the final sewing. can’t wait to see the final product! xoxo.

to my friends who have been pregnant or are pregnant, what pillow do u recommend for sleeping? basically, i’m at the point where i have to sleep on my side and have no idea what’s the best pillow to get. there are seriously a billion different pillows to pick from so i’m not sure which one is the best one to get. thanks so much for any recommendations! xoxo.

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February 25, 2013

super excited about getting a bugaboo chameleon for the baby! and apparently even more super excited about getting a pregnant lady body pillow. i swear, what has my life become? uggghhhh…xoxo.

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February 26, 2013

Told the husband I really wanted the stokke trip trapp high chair cause it is seriously the hottest looking high chair on the market despite the fact that it may potentially be a death trap. Showed him what this chair looked like and he was like, “no. Safety first.”. Safety first? What a joke. I am beginning to think the husband doesn’t care if our kid looks cool in his high chair or not. Ugggghhh.

today’s goals include grabbing a ham and cheese croissant, do some office work, and attempt to make baby shoes. xoxo.

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February 27, 2013

un-godparents have been chosen for miles…and i say un-godparents cause i’m an athiest. uggghh…so last nite, i texted my bf {scooby doo snacks} if he’d be miles’ un-godparent and then ended the text with, “i won’t get mad if u say no.” i felt like i was seriously asking someone to marry me via text…like u know there’s a huge probability they’ll say yes but then what if they say no cause i know it’s a huge task to take on if something does happen to me and the husband and they’re stuck with this lil rugrat. luckily, he said, “YES.” that helped things not get awkward. and of course, my sister was chosen to be the main un-godparent. my mind is now at ease knowing that if something does happen to my husband and i, this kid will be taken care of by people i know will LOVE him as much as my husband and i do. xoxo.

best compliment of the day: a patient says to me, “how do u always stay so skinny?” i looked at her and was like, “i am actually almost 6 months pregnant right now.” she was like, “NO WAY!” and then another patient says to me, “you’re married?” and i was like, “yes, i’ve been married for over 3 years.” and then he says to the other patient, “i am always trying to flirt with her. i didn’t know she was married.” the other patient then says to him, “i’m sure she was on reserved.” i am so glad the patients at my office think i’m an object. i then showed them my wedding band and my big belly. and this is what my work day is like. uggghhh…xoxo.

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February 28, 2013

Seriously had some sour patch kids for dinner. Debating if I want the husband to grab me a grilled BBQ chicken sandwich on his way home from the airport. Ugggghhh.

Tonite I heeded my doctor’s orders and got small fries to go with my charbroiled chicken sandwich…I figured yolo and the fact that I need to gain 15 more pounds in the next 15 weeks. Ugggghhh.

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March 2, 2013

Wants to design some bookplates for the rug rat. Xoxo

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March 3, 2013

Project gaining weight is underway. Just sent the husband to go pick up my order of a BBQ chicken pizza and a sausage with mushrooms pizza for lunch. Will finish this meal with some coca-cola. Ugggghhh.

Husband comes back and one of my pizzas come back without sauce on it. I called the pizza place to rectify the situation so husband got sent out to pick me up another pizza. When did I become such a diva? Uggghhhh

now i’ve decided i’m going to have an apple for dinner tonite to counter those 5 slices of pizza i had for lunch. uggghhhh….i swear, i miss my 20-something year old body where i used to be able to eat burgers for breakfast and NOT feel like crap. uggghhh…xoxo.

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March 4, 2013

my pregnancy pillow arrived! i really hope this helps me with my back pain. that would be nice. and i swear, i really need to put myself back on a budget. i think when you’re in your twenties, it’s like..buy whatever u want…and then u hit your thirties, and you’re like…i can buy that or i can start saving up for retirement. the only good thing about adulthood is that NO ONE puts baby in the corner. and by baby in the corner, it meant if i wanted to eat 3 slices of pizza for breakfast, no one stops me…except for the fact that i now feel sick. ugghhh….xoxo.

i swear, i think i may need a 2nd bedroom for the rugrat. my neighbors gave me a bunch of toys and books for miles the other day and i’m like…holy craps…this kid isn’t even born yet but already has enough stuff to fill up a room! so happy i made the husband buy like 20 storage boxes a couple months ago in anticipation of the fact that i knew this kid would most likely have a bunch of stuff. i remember when we were getting the storage boxes, husband was like, “why do we need so many?” and i was like, “you’ll see.” xoxo.

my husband cracks me up. so the past week or so, i’ve been trying to sleep on my left side per my doctor’s recommendation, so since i hadn’t gotten my pregnancy pillow yet, the past couple days, when my husband finally comes into bed at like 2 am, he will go to sleep lying really close to me on the edge of the bed so i don’t accidentally fall asleep on my back. i will then wake up at like 3 am cause that’s like one of my many pee times and start screaming…”move! i can’t breathe! you’re suffocating me!” and he’ll be like, “what about the baby? is he gonna be okay if you’re sleeping on your back?” and i’ll be like, “i think he’ll manage.” xoxo.

today i received two big boxes filled of stuff from my cousin. one box contained a breast pump, maternity clothes, a baeba babycook food maker, and a baby bjorn. the other box contained craploads of baby clothes. when i said this kid was gonna need a walk-in closet, i was seriously joking. i think i am seriously no longer joking. but seriously, sooooo freaking grateful for all these baby things! xoxo.

this pregnancy pillow seriously takes up HALF of our king sized bed. i swear, i hope this seriously helps with my back pain and lets me finally sleep through the nite. xoxo.

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March 5, 2013

I seriously can’t believe the pregnancy pillow actually worked. First time since getting pregnant that I was able to sleep soooo comfortably! Soooo freaking worth the $80 that I was so hesitant in blowing on a pillow! Xoxo

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March 15, 2013

Xmas came super early for this pregnant lady! Yesterday, I was informed that I got the loan for my refinance after 4 months of crazy paperwork and today, the cardiologist told me she didn’t see a hole in my baby’s heart and the baby looks fine and perfectly healthy! I walked away from the appointment with tears of happiness cause a huge weight on my shoulders have finally lifted knowing miles will be okay. I would like to take this time to thank my friends and family for your well wishes and continue to be grateful for all the positive people in my life! I can finally go back to having a happy pregnancy! Xoxo

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March 30, 2013

Spent this morning moving a bunch of stuff around. Now waiting for the husband to wake up to help me move the rest of the furniture. Uggghh. Looking forward to buffalo wild wings! Xoxo

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March 31, 2013

any recommendations for pregnancy hosiery to prevent vericose veins???? ugggghhhhh….xoox.

The thought of giving birth used to scare the bejesus out of me. Okay…the thought still scares me but now I look forward to delivering this baby cause it brings me closer to having my old health and hopefully body back. I miss not feeling like so slow and heavy with constant body aches and pain. I think the only thing that makes all this bearable is the thought that miles will soon enter our lives and all this sacrifice to my body will be worth it. Note to myself…do not ever ever get pregnant again! Ugggghhh. I hate being and feeling so sloth like. Ugggghhh. I think the 3rd trimester is gonna be a challenge.

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April 17, 2013

needs to start designing thank you cards. and i swear, i HATE that it’s soooo tough to get up once i lie down…i seriously have to ROLL myself out of bed. i fear my lack of energy next month. uggghhhh….xoxo.

my husband tells me this morning that for his line of work, he can travel internationally. i was like…WHAT???? and was like, “why haven’t u done that?” and he’s like, “well, i don’t want to leave u for months at a time.” and i’m like, “dude…if u get to travel for months at a time and i’m a stay-at-home mom, i wanna come along!” i mean, how awesome would it be if miles gets to be a world traveler? although by traveling internationally, i’d like to be in paris or bora bora…somehow, i don’t think those are his work destinations. ugggghhhh….xoxo.

i am soooo incredibly grateful for the LOVE that miles is receiving from my friends and family. this kid is soooo lucky! and i’ll make sure i send him out at the age of 5 to hand wash your cars in gratitude! xoxo.

i LOVE how my friends and family buys things for miles that he actually needs like car seats and baby monitors…things that can actually save his life..while i’m just busy buying him cute furry boots. why do i sometimes feel i’m not exactly ready for motherhood? or at least the safety of an actual baby? ugggghhhhh….xoxo.

so as my sister and i are planning out baby shower games, the only game we can actually agree on is the one where people have to drink booz out of a baby bottle and see who can down the booz the fastest. i am slightly worried at the direction this baby shower is going. hahaha..xoxo.

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April 18, 2013

i hope motherhood makes me a more compassionate human being. xoxo.

despite all my griping and heehawing and complaining about being pregnant due to all the crazy changes in my body, in all honesty, i know i’ve had an amazing pregnancy and i have my family, friends, and most especially, the husband to thank for this. i am looking forward to my baby shower, not because it’ll be the baby shower of my dreams, but the one chance i feel i’ll get to see everyone and thank them for being such awesome people in my life before i go out of commission as i adjust to motherhood. xoxo.

it’s like whoa…one moment you don’t have a baby and the next moment, u have a rugrat who is going to completely change my life…and husband and i r beyond excited about this kid coming into our life….it’s like…thank you miles. we know you’re the best thing that’s going to happen to us. xoxo.

seriously craving a frappaccino although i think the last time i even drank one of those things was probably over ten years ago. uggghhhh….debating how badly i want one.

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April 19, 2013

Despite just having had dinner, I am debating if I want a chili dog and pink berry right now. Ugggghhh

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April 21, 2013

Pinkberry’s for dinner again tonite. This can’t be healthy. Ugggghhhh.

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April 22, 2013

on this monday morning, i’d like to dedicate “Love Somebody” to the three LOVES in my life… Vincent, Miles, and currently pinkberry. xxoo.

in exactly 2 months, miles arrives…unless i’m lucky and my water breaks early cause that dude is ready for the world. but yeah…2 MONTHS. this is NUTS! i swear, husband and i look at each other and we’re both like…whoa. xoxo.

needs to seriously start working on thank you cards for all of miles’ gifts! he’s seriously getting bombarded by soooo much stuff! xoxo.

trying to talk the husband on setting up that baby bjorn high chair. so far, nothing has been done. uggghhhh…xoxo.

my sister wants to order some of my pregnancy cravings for the baby shower such as nem nuong rolls, cha gio, banh beo, and goi…so now my baby shower will be a cinco de mayo and white party theme and some vietnamese food thrown in the mix theme. so this baby shower will be all over the place like me! awesome!….xoxo.

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April 23, 2013

asked my husband this morning if our marriage was what he envisioned his married life to be. he says to me, “no. it’s better. it’s like a fairytale.” i was like, “puke.” keep in mind, 4 years ago, i had told the husband, “either u marry me cause i’m turning 30 or we’re breaking up.” and last year, i was like, “either we start trying for a baby cause i’m almost 35 or we’re getting a divorce,” and he was like…”uh. okay.” and seriously, “uh. okay,” have been his responses to all the things i’ve asked for. so i guess our marriage is a true fairytale. uggghhhhh…xoxo.

wished i had brought a pillow and blanket to work. i’m back to needing naps. uggghhhhh….it’s gonna be a long 2 months. i swear, i hope i don’t fall asleep at my baby shower….to my family and friends attending, feel free to slap me if u notice me dozing off. ugggghhhh….xoxo.

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April 25, 2013

does any of my friends who are attending my baby shower have any stuffed animals i can borrow? basically, i wanna do a baby triathlon where people have to swaddle a baby and change diapers. i told the husband i wanted to do this and he was like…where are u gonna get the babies? and i’m like, “no…we don’t use actual babies!” ugggghhhh….xoxo.

told the husband this morning that he doesn’t have to deal with cloth diapers once the baby is born cause i’m sure it’s gonna be hectic with us being zombies. he was like, “i NEVER wanted to use them.” i am sensing relief from his part. xoxo.

Tonite’s pregnancy cravings consisted of panda express and of course pinkberry’s. Ugggghhh.

Debating if I want to order my girdle now. Ugggghhh

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April 26, 2013

Looking forward to the weekend! Soooo much to do before my baby shower! My bestie asked me the other day if I was ready for it and I was like…no. I swear, I am sooo glad I tried to get a bunch of things done during my 2nd trimester cause the 3rd trimester leaves me with not much energy…I am slowly lacking the energy and drive I used to have. This weekend will be spent trying to deep clean the house and finalize all the details for the party. I think I am more anxious about this party than our wedding since I actually planned everything myself…but in the end, I honestly look forward to seeing everyone and hope they have a great time. Xoxo

so i recently purchased those gummy prenatal vitamins and they taste seriously utterly crazy good…so now, my husband will be like, “can i have one too?” and i’m like…”yes.” xoxo.

i HATE it when i feel hungry but there’s nothing that sounds really good to eat…except for maybe sushi, hu tieu, or maybe thai boat noodles. uggghhh…xoxo.

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April 27, 2013

Hot doctor dude was concerned that I lost weight since my last appointment. He told me I really should start eating everything cause he wants me to gain another 8 lbs. before i give birth. So then I made the husband take me to philip’s BBQ after my appointment where I proceeded to order myself a dinner combo for lunch. I wish I wasn’t told I had to eat more, but instead, to shop more cause I can easily do that. Ugggggghhh.

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April 28, 2013

8 more weeks to go…although i’m hoping it’ll be more like 6. ready to meet this kid already! and i’m pretty tired of being pregnant. xoxo.

my sister decided to now also order a whole roasted pig for my baby shower. apparently, this shower will no longer have any games but rather will be replaced with just a day of massive eating…so to all my family and friends who are attending, i highly RECOMMEND coming in sweatpants and oversized t-shirts and slippers. the slippers is cause i’m asian and will prolly make u take off your shoes before entering the house. the sweatpants and oversized t-shirts cause that’s the outfit i like to wear when i know i’m about to eat massive amounts of food. i wish i was kidding, but i’m not. also, my brother-in-law brewed a special beer for the baby shower so be ready to try the best brew in the world! xoxo.

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April 29, 2013

gaining weight diet is underway. this morning, i got my usual breakfast jack…and then topped it off with some mini cookies. i think this should work. ugggghhhhh….xxoo.

yesterday, my mother asked me if i had gotten diapers for the baby. i was like…no. i am assuming miles is so perfect that he will come out of my womb already potty trained. ugggghhhh….xoxo.

i hate that it’s 11 am and i’m so freaking tired. uggghhhh….xoxo.

told my husband the ONLY way i see myself having another child is if miles comes to me and says, “hey mom…can i get a sibling?” and i’ll be like, “yeah…we can get one if you PROMISE you’ll be the ONE taking care of it.” husband was like, “u mean, like a pet?” and i was like, “yes.” xoxo.

2 more hours to go…i swear, it can’t come soon enough…trying to fight my way from my much needed nap. ugggghhhh…..xoxo.

Pinkberry run. Ugggghhh

I have no idea why I even bother scooping my Pinkberry into a bowl cause 5 minutes later, I will end up consuming the whole to-go container. Ugggghhh.

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April 30, 2013

tonite, for dinner, i want in-n-out. and this morning, i asked the husband if he can take friday off to help me get ready for the baby shower. he said no. i told him it’s obvious he doesn’t care at all for this child and that i hope miles can learn to forgive him. apparently, that comment didn’t make the husband feel guilty at all. ugggghhhh….xoxo.

my baby shower isn’t here yet, but seriously, everyday, miles gets a new present. i’m just like…whoa…where am i gonna even store all his stuff? so far, his closets are all packed with his gifts, he’s got stuff stored in the garage, stuff stored in our den, and more stuff stored in my art studio. i think the solution is seriously a new house. and like seriously, i think next year, i’m just gonna pretend i’m pregnant cause it seriously feels like xmas everyday whenever i receive a package for this dude! i hope this kid doesn’t grow up to be a diva! but seriously, thank you again to all my family and friends…this kid really feels spoiled and loved by everyone! xoxo.

i had told myself i wasn’t gonna do it but i might actually do maternity shots…it just hit me today that this will be the only time i will look like this, so i should document it. don’t worry…these photos won’t be shared on fb…i know seeing me trying to look all glam up with a huge belly isn’t everybody’s cup of tea. ugggghhhh….xoxo….

so husband went to bottega louie for lunch today and as i picked him up from work, he says to me, “i was gonna get you some macarons from bottega but then i didn’t cause i wasn’t sure if you’d like them.” i was like, “thanks for telling me what u didn’t get for me today.” uggghhhh….xoxo.

husband says to me as we’re waiting in line at the in-in-out drive thru, “u must be an angel cause u fell from the sky.” i say to him, “how many angels do u see falling from the sky? and btw…this explains why i’ve never gotten any love letters from u. i can’t even imagine what those letters would even say.” and then i wonder why my sister tells me i’m unsentimental. uggghhh…xoxo.

OMFG…I THINK MILES IS A MUSICAL GENIUS. so i’m listening to meaghan smith’s cover of the pixies, “here comes your man,” and i feel miles kicking to the beat of the music. so i don’t think i’m turning into that parent who thinks they’re kid is a genius when he’s totally not, i scream at the husband, “holy cow..i think miles is dancing to the beat of the music.” husband comes over and puts his hand to my belly and notices that this kid is seriously kicking to the beat of this song. i’m just like…WHOA. xoxo.

in my cheap attempt to kill a billion birds with one stone, i decided to schedule my maternity shoot on the day of my baby shower since my bestie will be doing my hair and make up so i can look like a normal human being at my party. so if u see me posing like an idiot, just IGNORE me, pretend that i don’t exist, and enjoy the party. xoxo.

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May 1, 2013

i now eat like a fat american. ugggghhh…last nite’s dinner consisted of in-n-out animal style cheeseburger, fries, strawberry milkshake, and a coke. today’s lunch consists of a kfc where i get 2 pieces of chicken, cole slaw, mashed potatoes, and a biscuit. tonite, for dinner, i’m thinking panda express. ugggghhhh….xoxo. i swear, i better gain a billion pounds.

my sister who is hosting my baby shower wants the event to be a casual affair vs. i want it to be a formal affair. she’s big on having everything easy and practical vs. i’m big on having things complicated cause i’m more about design and the looks of things. like when i was talking to my mother this morning, she figured we can serve the food in the disposable trays. i basically nearly had a fit. i already feel bad that i have to serve my guests using disposable plates vs. glass plates. i am seriously that person who got upset at kfc today cause when i opened my bag, i noticed there was no KNIFE to cut my fried chicken with. it was like…am i supposed to eat my chicken with my bare hands? what am i? a barbarian???? ugggghhhh….xoxo.

i seriously think i now just want a smoothie for dinner tonite. uggghhhh…xoxo.

debating if i want to force my husband to take me to boiling point in arcadia for dinner tonite. uggghhhh….xoxo.

now i don’t know if i want sinbala instead…and part of me feels incredibly bad about making the husband drive me to arcadia when he’s been on the road for the past 3 hours coming back from san diego. i swear, damn cravings…actually, it’s not really cravings…i just like to use pregnancy as an excuse for everything these days. uggghhhh….xoxo. btw…i’m watching Hoarders as i wait for the husband to get home and this show seriously disgusts me.

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May 2, 2013

today’s lunch consists of tacos from jack in the box and an order of fries. and u know it’s NOT a good thing when the drive thru window guys says to u, “have a nice day and i’ll SEE you tomorrow!” and i’m just like…omg…i’m a REGULAR at jack in the box. ugggghhhhh….xoxo.

when i eat french fries, i like to dip one french fry in ketchup and the next french fry in ranch sauce. and then i do this repeatedly until all my fries are gone. i hope miles isn’t a nutso like his mom. xoxo.

so prizes i came up for the raffle and games for the baby shower consists of a gift card for dinner for two, a gift card to one of my pregnancy cravings location, and cash cause who doesn’t like cash except for that capital one baby. i think i might rig the raffle so i can win one of these prizes. ugggghhhhhh….also, for the clothespin game, i think i’m gonna tell people they can’t use the word “baby” or “miles.” i think everyone is gonna be screwed! xoxo.

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May 3, 2013

pinkberry for dinner tonite. uggghhhh….xoxo.

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May 4, 2013

So apparently it’s going to rain on Sunday. Which means I now have to rearrange my game plan for the baby shower since I had planned on having it outside in our backyard. Ugggggghhhhhhh. And why do they call it a baby shower? Why can’t they call it baby sunny perfect weather day instead? Xoxo

Spent this evening telling the husband how I want the new layout for the party to be and I am also debating if I want to do a chili cheese dog run cause I decided I am now hungry. Ugggghhh.

Woke up early this morning and it dawned on me how I will be able to turn an outdoor party into an indoor one. I love it when life gives me a challenge cause it makes me want to turn those lemons into strawberry lemonades! Now I am back to being super excited about my baby shower! Xoxo

I swear…I really need to grow up since I am going to be a mom soon. Not only do I wake the husband up at 6 am to tell him my baby shower epiphany, I also decide to punk him while he’s half asleep. So I show him a pic of a bridal wedding ring set and was like omg….I soooo need this ring. Can I get it? And he’s like, sure. Is it expensive? And I was like, well, I’ll need ur credit card for sure. And he’s like, if it’s a lot of money, can it wait? And I was like no. So he gets up begrudgingly to grab his credit card and I then start laughing when I show him it’s just some cheap cubic zirconia ring from overstock. He then fell back to sleep cause he was up till 2 am playing video games. I hope miles doesn’t like to punk me cause I don’t think I have the tolerance level of the husband to find this behavior amusing. Uggggghhhhh. Xoxo

Anxiously waiting for the husband to wake up so we can start setting up for the baby shower. Xoxo

I love how the husband has mastered the art of not paying attention to me. Like I’ll Be talking and he’ll pretend to be asleep and then I will be like, oh…miles is kicking so he’ll place his hand on my stomach, wake up to sing twinkle twinkle lil stars to this kid and say, “miles, we love u.”. And then he’ll continue with a full on conversation with this child. I have a feeling that instead of the husband feeling neglected once miles is born, I will be the neglected wife…which surprisingly I am cool with. Luckily I am not needy or need attention on me at all times. Ugggghhhh.

just ordered my post-pregnancy corset. please let this work. it’d be nice to have some semblance of my old body back. uggghhhh…xoxo.

it’s 9:30 am. husband better get up soon so i can stop on-line shopping. uggghhhh….xoxo.

frantically trying to clean the house for tomorrow’s party. things are not looking too good. ugggh…dinner break. it’s gonna be a long nite. WHY am i such a SLOB???? xoxo.

******

May 5, 2013

Looking forward to seeing all my family and friends today! Please don’t let it rain during the shower…but if it does, another baby shower game will be a wet t-shirt contest. Ugggghhh….but in all seriousness, I would like to thank everyone in advance for coming out. It means the world to me and Vincent Su and miles for sharing a day that holds great significance to us. See everyone soon! Xoxo

******

May 6, 2013

had such an AMAZING day! thank you again to all my family and friends for everything! i couldn’t wish for better people in my life! i feel incredibly lucky and grateful and now looking forward to this rugrat to be exposed to such cool people that are in our lives. xoxo.

I am sooo glad I didn’t open miles’ gifts during the baby shower. It seriously took us 2 hours to open up all the presents late last nite and me constantly squealing out, “omg….that is soooooooo cute!”. I am sure that would have annoyed all of my guests. Ugggghhhh. And seriously, miles officially has 50 pairs of shoes and a billion outfits. He’s gonna be the fiercest dressed kid on the block. He also has enough books to start his own library! Thank you soooo much again to everyone for spoiling this kid! He will repay u with hugs and kisses or washing ur car or dance for u like the kid in kite runner although I think the husband will not be thrilled with me if I teach our child to dance like that. Uggggghhh.

anxiously waiting till 3 pm so i can go get myself a half off coffee frappaccino..and yes, i like my frappaccinos unadulterated. xoxo.

anxiously counting the minutes till i can get that frappaccino! uggggghhhhh….xoxo.

i swear, an hour before the baby shower was to start, all people can hear me scream is, “VINCE…remember to hang up that doily bunting i made for the backyard! i only spent 8 hours gluing that doily together. if it’s not hung up, this party is RUINED!” i’m sure husband was thinking…wife is nuts. ugggghhhhh…xoxo.

just googled, “do i celebrate mother’s day if i’m like pregnant?” the answer was a surprisingly yes. and like seriously, miles might be born on father’s day. that’s gonna be weird. xoxo.

******

May 7, 2013

U know u must look like a hot mess all the time when on the morning of my baby shower, my bff is doing my hair and make up so i can look presentable for the party and my doorbell rings. It’s my neighbors and they say to me, ” we brought gifts for miles. Is Lo home?”. I was like… “uh…I’m Lo.”. And they were like, “oh…sorry, we didn’t recognize u.”. Uggggghhhh…and then my other neighbor who came to the party says to me, “make sure Vince takes lots of pictures of u today. U look very pretty…not that u don’t look pretty everyday.”. I was like double ugggggghhhhh. I swear, how awful do I look on an everyday basis? Actually….don’t answer that. Triple ugggggghhhh.

Really needs to get my butt up and get my day started. Ugggghhh.

My goal for the day includes writing thank you cards. And I finally eased up to the idea of letting the husband cook brunch for me for my 1st mother’s day. He asked me if I liked oatmeal. I am going to sound like a horrible person but I am kind of scared of what he’s gonna make. Btw…I hate oatmeal. Uggghhhh.

instead of writing thank you cards, i’ve decided to attempt to put away all of miles’ gifts…and apparently, it’s not that easy trying to figure out how to organize all his things! uggghhhh…

HATES pregnancy brain….so for my baby shower, i had purchased 80 ice cream bars for my guests…and of course, i forgot to give them out…so now i have 80 ice cream bars in my freezer that i don’t know what to do with. and no…don’t tell me to eat it. uggghhhh…xoxo.

i think miles is already turning into a mama’s boy….like he’ll kick a lot but once the husband tries to talk to him or touch my belly to feel the kicks, miles will get shy and stop. this screws up my game plan where i became excited about having a boy cause i figured miles and the husband can be best friends and hang out and i can go boozing with my gfs and do arts and crafts in peace. now i feel like this kid is going to constantly want my attention like his father. ugggghhhh….i really will have TWO vinnies on my hands! xoxo.

Husband told me his parents wanted to get miles a playpen but he told them that we already have one. I told him that we have a playmat…and that, I think, r two different things. Honestly, I don’t think husband and I r really ready for baby. Uggghhhh.

******

May 8, 2013

How many diapers does one baby need? Cause I think I currently have 1000 diapers right now. Xoxo

NOT in the mood to go into work today. i seriously washed like 5 cups this morning and felt completely worn out. it’s going to be a tough month. uggghhh….xoxo.

i think for my 1st mother’s day, i’m gonna opt out on letting the husband cook for me. i think i’m just gonna make him take me to the 626 to get me some hu tieu nam vang instead. ugggghhh….WHY am i sooo HIGH maintenance???? xoxo.

miles just got invited to his first bday party. i swear, he’s got a more packed schedule than me! i feel like i’m gonna be like his secretary, keeping track of his social calendar for him! xoxo.

since the husband won’t be coming back till late tonite from his business trip, my dinner will thus consist of a starbucks vanilla bean frappaccino, jack in the box tacos, and an order of fries. and for dessert, mexican helados. ugggghhh….xoxo.

husband wants me to start playing classical music for miles cause he thinks it’ll be better for this child’s development. i’m like…what, u don’t like “rumors” by timex social club? ugggghhhh….xoxo.

Tonite’s dinner consisted of a Carl’s jr. Charbroiled BBQ chicken sandwich and crisscut fries and yes, it was delicious. Ugggghhh. Xoxo

******

May 10, 2013

Debating if I really need to get a new camera so I can take pics and video footage of miles. Uggggggghhhh.

husband is apparently anti getting a new camera cause he knows he’s going to be the one stuck using it….that means miles will have his pics taken using a camera from the early 1900s. sorry kid. uggghhhh…..xoxo.

please let me have the energy to actually get laundry done today. uggghhh…i swear, the last month of pregnancy is seriously tough. xoxo.

goals for the day include washing all of miles’ swaddles, clothes, and blankets for his homecoming…and then finishing up my thank you cards…and hopefully have time to start packing my hospital bag. everything is beginning to move very fast for me. uggghhhh….xoxo.

just finally sorted the laundry. took way longer than i had anticipated. now i need a ham and cheese croissant as a reward. uggghhh…WHEN did i become that PERSON who rewards myself with FOOD????? i’ll answer that…that moment i got knocked up. ugggghhhhh…xoxo.

******

Hot doctor dude told me today that miles’ head is down in the cervical area which means he’s basically in position to get out. And I was like, “yeah..this kid wants to get out of my belly as much as I want him to.”. Doctor told me I need to keep him in there for another 4 weeks. I am thinking to myself….uh…this kid has a mind of his own! I also managed to gain a good couple pounds by being on the starbucks frappaccino and junk food diet this past week. Doctor told me if I can gain a couple more lbs. by the time i’m due, he will be happy with me. And now i need a nap. Ugggghhh.

Told the doctor today that I was open to giving birth through my private parts vs. just opting for a c-section right off the bat cause what’s another 30 hours of hell of trying to push a baby out when I feel like the past 9 months has pretty much sucked? He started laughing. I wasn’t laughing. Hey miles…no siblings for u. Sorry. Your mother. I will get u a mini ipad and an electric car for ur 1st bday or whatever u want to compensate. Xoxo.

******

May 12, 2013

needs to quickly do my own make up for my maternity shoot this morning. i hope i don’t look like how i feel…like hell. uggghhh…other than that, it’s a great day! xoxo.

if it’s not already obvious, i’m pretty over this being pregnant thing. uggghh…i am soooo freaking tired! can’t wait for this dude to arrive already! xoxo.

if u wanna gain crap loads of weight in a week, eat a bunch of junk food. apparently, it actually works. uggghhhh…xoxo.

******

May 13, 2013

miles got yet another gift delivered to my office today. i swear, this kid has been receiving presents since the day he was conceptualized! this is nuts! and miles…can’t wait to meet you outside of my belly! xoxo.

totally want korean cold noodles right now. uggghhhhhh….xoxo.

so need to hit up my favorite cold noodle shop tomorrow. wish i could have it LIKE RIGHT now. ugggghh…xoxo.

******

May 14, 2013

ham and cheese croissant with a honey lemonade black iced tea…best breakfast ever! although i now seriously need to put myself back on a diet cause my co-worker told me yesterday i was beginning to look unattractive cause i was looking fat. i told her…uh…i am also 8 months pregnant and may have a baby coming out of my belly at any given moment. she says she noticed this week that i’m beginning to look like my face and arms are getting bigger. i’m like…yes. that is indeed happening. uggghhhh….xoxo.

i am slowly trying to be a better wife. i think husband was relieved when i woke him up this morning and said, “okay. i no longer want to buy a new camera. we can just pay off my car instead.” i think husband was relieved that he won’t get stuck trying to figure out how to use this camera cause he knows once i actually receive the camera, realize that it requires more than me just pressing one button and then quickly be bored with it. other ways i’ve been trying to be a good wife is that when the husband decides to stay up late to play video games to relieve his work stress, he doesn’t hear me hollering out at 2 am, “YOU BETTER come to bed if YOU know WHAT’s GOOD for u!!” i just now basically leave him alone. and the last thing i’m trying to do to be a good wife is to actually help out in our family finances…vs. hiding my money from him. i know…uggghhhhh….xoxo.

okay…i just got back to the office from lunch with my sister, and of course, there’s another package for miles sitting on my desk. i swear, NO MORE GIFTS for this rugrat! he’s gonna think it’s xmas EVERY DAY! i think he has seriously received over 200 gifts from my friends and family…i swear, i wish i was this kid! xoxo. thank you again to everyone! i really can’t wait for miles to get here and like talk so he can thank you himself for the love that you’ve bestowed upon him. xoxo.

those korean noodles sure hit the spot! now i’m thinking of making some homemade lemonade. xoxo.

******

May 15, 2013

ham and cheese croissant…i really need to quit u. uggghhhh….xoxo.

to my friends who are pregnant or who have been pregnant…i know we’re not supposed to eat deli meats cause of listeria so i’ve stayed away from deli meats this entire pregnancy…but i am seriously craving a subway cold cut for dinner tonite…did u guys eat that while pregnant????? xoxo.

okay…i’m gonna sound like an idiot…but what comes first, your water breaking or contractions? and basically, do u hit the hospital when either of those things happen? i am soooo NOT ready to actually give birth. uggghhhh….xoxo.

Asked the husband if I could get a Maltese teacup puppy. He says I can get one if I take care of it. I told him no..that he would have to take care of it cause there is no way I am picking up poop. I guess I won’t be getting one. Ugggghhh.

******

May 17, 2013

Looking forward to a chocolate brownie and a black iced tea for breakfast. Xoxo

Goals for today include scrap booking and laundry. Xoxo

I love paneer! Xoxo

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May 18, 2013

Looking forward to sinbala for Taiwanese food, jj bakery for some baked goods, and a tropical iced tea at Phoenix. I hate that my current joys in life are centered around food. Ugggghhh. Xoxo.

The husband finished working at 10 pm yesterday and says to me, “what do u wanna do tonite? We can watch whatever show u want to watch or I can help u pack ur bag for the hospital.”. And this seriously came out of my mouth, “how about u just play video games for as long as u’d like and I’ll just sit next to u?”. I am like, where did Lo go? Cause I am sure husband had the same thoughts and was like…is this a trick? I think the closer I come to having this kid, I know our lives are gonna change and I now want to make sure my husband gets as much relaxation and time to do whatever he wants before this rugrat arrives. And the fact that lately, I’ve been too tired to do much of anything…nagging included. Ugggghhh. Xoxo.

So as my husband and I were eating at sinbala, there was this couple sitting next to us where the dude looked miserable and the girl was reaming into him…I heard her say stuff to him like, “we don’t communicate well. Why do u look like a sour puss? U look miserable. I only came to this restaurant cause I thought u liked this food.”. This seriously went on the entire time I was eating and sooo just wanted to tell the girl and dude to just break up already. I just don’t understand why people like to be in relationships where they can’t even be cordial to one another while having a meal. Most people like to say, “divorce is not an option.”. I believe that divorce is always an option. I don’t believe in staying in something if both parties are not happy cause life is too short to be miserable. But then again, don’t listen to me…I am grateful the husband hasn’t left me despite all my nagging. Ugggghhhh. Xoxo.

Wants some chicharrons! I am obviously watching dives, diners, and drive-ins. Uggghh.

Now I want a nice bowl of Posole. Uggggghhh.

******

May 19, 2013

Can’t wait for miles to get here so when the husband has to go out of town for work, I’ll have a sidekick to hang out with. I plan on being robin to his batman. Xoxo.

Needs to get my fat butt out of bed, make myself some black iced tea, and be a somewhat productive human being today. Ugggghhh.

will now attempt to finish mile’s chevron quilt today. xoxo.

i think i’ve rearranged this dude’s nursery a million billion times! xoxo.

slumber party with the sister tonite! and by slumber party, sister is watching games of thrones and i’m doing arts and crafts. xoxo.

******

May 20, 2013

i told myself i’d be putting myself on a pregnancy diet…and apparently, diet to me means eating 2 servings of spaghetti with a strawberry banana smoothie for breakfast, a shrimp and crab louie salad for lunch, and 2 servings of chocolate brownies with an iced tea for my dinner. and then i wonder why my belly is growing exponentially. uggghhh….xoxo. my sister asked me why i couldn’t bring myself to wear a longer shirt cause now when i go out, cause i’m not willing to buy maternity clothes and just wear stuff that are lying around in my closet, she is embarrassed that my t-shirts are now like crop tops on me and my pregnant belly sticks out and it looks pretty gnarly. uggghhh..xoxo.

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May 21, 2013

miles’ custom labels from germany finally arrived! can’t wait to sew them on his custom clothes and blankets! xoxo.

debating if i want to purchase another sewing machine right now…uggghhhhh…xoxo.

so i text the husband to see if i can get another sewing machine and of course, he texts back, “yes.” and i’m like debating how badly i want one cause i currently prolly have like 6 sewing machines already….i would actually prefer the husband to actually say no…i will give myself another 2 hours to think about this. uggghhhh….xoxo.

so instead of getting the embroidery machine i had wanted, i ended up getting stuff that miles’ may need…like strollers, diaper things, bottle warmers, etc. the sacrifices of motherhood. ugggghhh….xoxo.

it’s officially nap time. ugggghhhh….xoxo.

Soooo want some agua frescas! Xoxo

Wants some good Mexican food this weekend. Any recommendations? Xoxo

hungry. uggghhh…xoxo.

******

May 22, 2013

Can’t wait to have the husband back today! I’ve been a mess without him….ugggggghhhh. Xoxo.

Plans for memorial day weekend include eating, deep cleaning the house, arts and crafts for me, and prolly video games for the husband. I know…our plans sometimes get too wild for our own good. Ugggghhh.

i don’t know what’s the toughest part of this last month of pregnancy…the back pain, the feeling that i need to piss 100 times a day, my body looking like crazy time, or the fact that i constantly feel like i need a serious nap. uggghhhh….

so when the husband goes out of town, i like to engage in my favorite activity…which is shopping…so yesterday, i finally purchased a bunch of stuff i assume miles is gonna need…so on the list was a stroller and my in-laws got me the exact stroller on the exact same day…so now he’s got two matching strollers…or i can just return the stroller i had purchased and buy my embroidery machine….or just return it and not buy the embroidery machine. ugggghhhhh….xoxo.

Sooo happy husband is finally back home! Xoxo

******

May 23, 2013

i love it when i order stuff for miles and when i receive the stuff, it’s not made in china…i think that’s what i HATE about buying stuff on-line…i never know where it’s coming from. i’m the type of person who is always willing to pay more for that item to NOT be made in china. uggghhhhh….xoxo.

super excited about memorial day weekend! husband says if he doesn’t have to work, we can start designing our family website! xoxo.

to my friends who have delivered at cedars sinai, is there internet access there? basically, i want to know if i’ll be able to facebook on my ipad while i go into labor. ugggghhhhh…xoxo.

******

May 24, 2013

looking forward to grabbing mexican food with the husband for brunch today! xoxo.

my goal for today is to design a diaper clutch. and again, i ask myself…what happened to my life? uggghhhh…xoxo.

The good news…doctor says I am currently where I should be in terms of my pregnancy…the bad news…cause my stomach has been getting so damn big, I now have stretch marks. Dammit. Uggggggggghhh.

Thinks it might be time to buy a 2nd tv for our house. Ever since I stopped nagging the husband about playing video games, he now plays it 24/7 which means I no longer have access to a tv. Ugggghhhh.

******

May 25, 2013

i swear, this final month is sooooo freaking tough! uggghhhh….xoxo.

stretch marks have arrived. ugggghhhhh…..xxoo.

Debating if I want to send the husband out to get me Pinkberry’s and then I look at my stomach and think better of it. Ugggghhhh.

attempted to make a diaper clutch today…it did not end well. ugggghhhh…back to the drawing board. xoxo.

i seriously HATE it when i attempt to make something…spend a billion hours sewing it, and then realize i’m short by half of an inch and my diaper wipes will not fit into the diaper clutch. ugggghhhhh…..xoxo.

******

May 26, 2013

Managed to break the needle on my industrial sewing machine. I quit diaper clutches. Ugggghhh. I think it’s time for a nap.

Watching extreme couponing and all the stuff they get for free are not stuff I would even want. Most of the stuff they get are processed goods and I’m like…this cannot be healthy. Uggghh.

Now I am watching knocked up and debating if I want to tell the husband to nuke up some chicken wings for me. Ugggghhh.

U know u have a serious problem when u go buy a tv with the husband and u get more excited about getting a polish hot dog and combo pizza slice at Costco despite the fact that u just gorged on a bunch of chicken wings before heading out of the house. This pregnancy thing is seriously making me fat. And what’s really bad is when the husband tells u that ur belly is showing through ur shirt cause ur shirt is way too small and u look at him and say, “does it look like I care?”. Ugggghhhh.

Currently eating Che. Of course I would be doing that. When is there ever a moment when I am not eating? Ugggghhh.

******

May 27, 2013

Was thinking that maybe I wanted to sign up for pilates after miles is born until I googled Pilates and realized people sweat in these classes. Ugggghhhh.

Husband is installing kam snaps on miles’ custom bibs! Woohoo! Xoxo.

******

May 28, 2013

i think what i look forward most to having a baby is having another human being besides my awesome husband to love. miles, we are seriously uberly excited to meet u. btw…sorry your dad has been blasting classical music for u. i know it puts u to sleep. it puts me to sleep too. xoxo.

debating if i want a vietnamese french sandwich or have the husband grill a piece of steak with steamed vegetables for dinner. uggghhhhh…xoxo.

i think what i HATE about being pregnant, besides being pregnant, is that i have no control over my body. despite my cravings, i generally try not to go overboard and basically attempted to gain the least amount of weight that i needed to in order to carry this baby…and despite all that, my body just does what it wants to do. i really hope post pregnancy, i can somewhat regain control of my body again cause it really feels weird to feel like you aren’t eating that much, yet, gain weight. so for the duration of this pregnancy, i’m going to eat way healthier…goodbye to chocolate, flaming hot cheetos, and processed foods. ugggghhhhh…oh yeah…now thanks to my gnarly stretch marks and the fact that i will no longer have a flat stomach, i would also like to now say goodbye to my love of bikinis. ugggghhhhhh…..xoxo.

i think it’s funny when the husband asks me which stocks he thinks we should buy…cause i like to pretend that i’m the stock whisperer and say stuff to him like, “stock whisperer says it’s time to buy or stock whisperer says it’s time to sell.” and husband is like, “where u getting your info from?” and i’m like, “uh….HELLO…u know i only watch either house hunters or the investigation discovery channel on cable. like how am i supposed to know?” ugggghhhh….xoxo. although in all seriousness, i don’t think it’s really time to buy or sell…i think it’s a good time to pay off your bills. although i am tempted to buy some japanese stocks. xoxo.

so husband is working and on a business call in the dining area and i’m in the family room wiggling to harlem by new politics. i really should be a more productive human being…and by productive, go lie down on the couch with my pregnancy pillow and watch tv. uggghhhhh….xoxo.

is it bad that i buy baby products based on how cute the packaging is? ugggghhhh….today, my cousin told me she wanted to buy miles some johnson and johnson baby shampoo and bodywash but wanted to make sure it was cool by me before she bought them and i told her that i got it covered cause i had just ordered a bunch of burt’s bees baby products for him cause i thought the products matched his nursery and bathroom more. WHAT kind of mother am i gonna be? ugggghhhhh….xoxo.

******

May 29, 2013

looking forward to getting the rest of miles’ custom bibs back from production today! xoxo.

super excited about getting our tv this friday. this is actually the first tv the husband and i have ever purchased cause all of our past tv’s have been tv’s my sisters have given us. told the husband the budget for our new tv was $500. while at the store, getting a tv that was 5″ bigger was like $100 more and i seriously spent 30 minutes standing there going, “omg…should we splurge?” and i know the husband was like all embarrassed cause when he was paying the clerk, i stood there pacing up and down and was like…”this tv is gonna work, right? we’re not making a huge mistake, are we?” i know….i’m pretty ghetto and a total cheapskate. ugggghhhhh…xoxo.

my belly has started to get really itchy and i want to scratch it soooooo bad…i know, i’m disgusting….but i’m trying NOT to scratch it cause i’m assuming that will probably not be a good thing…like chicken pox…where i was told as a tween to NOT scratch it and i did and i was left with scars. ugggghhhhh….xoxo.

i think what i look forward to most about having to see my obgyn is getting to pick out a restaurant to eat after the appointment. i am thinking this week, i want knife cut korean noodles. xoxox.

Super excited about husband cooking dinner tonite although I think he is more excited at the fact that I am actually letting him cook me dinner. Tonite’s dinner is teriyaki grilled steak with grilled buttered corn, steamed veggies, and a baked sweet potato! Xoxo

Husband is installing kam snaps on the rest of miles’ bibs tonite! Xoxo

Husband spent tonite cooking me dinner, paid off my school loans cause I had mentioned wanting my school loans paid off before baby arrives, and now installing snaps on my baby things! I am thinking maybe I should get pregnant again! Not. Ugggghhhh. But seriously, best husband in the world! I know how incredibly lucky I am to have him. Please don’t tell him cause I don’t want him to leave me. Uggggghhh. Xoxo.

despite having a nice dinner tonite, i’m freaking hungry again…uggghhhhhh…..xoxo.

******

May 30, 2013

can’t wait to get the Lo + Miles personalized rose gold bar necklace! i think this will officially be my most prized possession! and i’m super happy husband told me he actually liked to cook last nite…so now i have to start coming up with super easy recipes he can whip up without my help. right now i’m having him just grill stuff and teaching him the timing of foods so he knows not to undercook or overcook the stuff. for me, when i cook, i know stuff is done by how it looks or how it feels. with the husband, he’ll actually time out the stuff so i have to give him exact timing which i think is funny. xoxo.

so as i picked up my husband from work, he says to me, “i was informed today i got promoted.” i look at him and say, “omg! we gotta celebrate!” and he’s like, “yeah…we should get u something.” i swear, where did this guy come from? but seriously, congrats to the husband…i’m super proud of him…but then again, i’m always proud of him! so apparently, we’re celebrating by eating some vietnamese sandwiches that were in our fridge and he’ll be spending tonite working. uggghhhh….xoxo.

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May 31, 2013

So happy it’s Friday! Tv arrives today! What would make it better is if the husband can just work from home but I know we can’t always get everything we want in life. Ugggghhhh.

POTENTIALLY PREGNANT DIARIES {FACEBOOK STATUSES}

October 15

so every year, for our official anniversary {and yes, we actually have 2 anniversary dates…the reception date and the official date where we got wed at the courthouse}, husband and i will hit a sushi restaurant. and cause it’s our anniversary, i decided to order clam miso soup, salmon skin salad, tuna rolls, albacore sushi, fried tofu, fried chicken, octopus sunomono, a green iced tea, and a teriyaki chicken with tempura dinner which comes with some pickled stuff, a salad, and more miso soup. what’s sad is that i ordered all these items for myself. husband looked at me and was like, “u really going to eat all that?” and he knows once he says that, i’ll say, “yes.” and i will then proceed to eat all of it. and he’s like, “you’re gonna be sick.” and i’m like, “no, i won’t.” 2 hours later, i come home and got sick. ugggghhhhhh….xoxo.

{Little did I know I was eating all this food cause I may potentially be pregnant.}

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October 17

if u eat more food than normal, does that mean you’re pregnant? last nite, i had a bowl of noodle soup for dinner thinking that would be enough…and then i followed that up with 2 hot dogs, and then some tortilla chips and salsa, and then still wanted more food but was too lazy to nuke yet another hot dog or forced to chew more food. i was even tempted to open up my bag of ruffle chips that i’ve been saving for a special occassion. uggghhhhhhh….xoxo.

today for lunch, i hit lemonade where i proceeded to order a protein, two salads, and a cup of watermelon rosemary lemonade. after wolfing down my meal, i decided to also eat half of my husband’s sandwich. and then for dinner, we grab some teriyaki bowls. after demolishing my bowl, i told the husband i could prolly eat two more of these. he didn’t want to say anything cause he knows if he did, i’d order two more teriyaki bowls and wolf those down too. uggggghhh….WHY AM I EATING soooooo MUCH? and i can’t seem to stop myself. like as i type this, all i can think about is opening up my can of nacho cheese and eating that with tortilla chips and salsa.

seriously just googled, “how soon can i take a pregnancy test?” ugggghhh…xoxo.

******

October 19

wants ribs and chicken wings. uggghhh…xoxo.

******

October 20

trying to live without caffeine will be the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do in my life. ugggghhhh….xoxo.

all i can think about is sushi and a nice black iced tea. ugggghhhh….xoxo.

Is having sexy time right now…and by sexy time, me, a big bag of cheddar and sour cream ruffles, a nice tall glass of lemonade, and weeds…and by weeds, the show. Greatest Saturday nite there ever was. Xoxo

******

October 23

to my friends and family, please do not congratulate me yet. it’s still too early. i mean, all i did was take 2 ept tests that came out positive. how legitimate are those things anyway? and how can u trust a stick that can’t even determine who the father is? on top of that, i believe this baby is happening as much as i believe in the tooth fairy…unless i see it, it’s not really real. uggggghhhh….so once i get confirmation, and by confirmation, an actual baby coming out of my belly, as of this moment, i don’t consider myself pregnant so i will now resume my life of drinking and partying. ugggghhh…xoxo.

tonite’s dinner consisted of me throwing 2 chicken sausages in a crock pot with a container of classico vodka tomato sauce. i swear, this fatigueness is killing me. my cooking is getting lazier and lazier. ugggghhh…xoxo.

as i was watching some food show last nite, this dude was having some fancy seafood meal with an iced tea in the background and i say to my husband, “wow…that iced tea looks MIGHTY good!” and then i started licking my lips. he started laughing. uggggghhh…i NEED my caffeinated iced tea soooo BAD. xoxo.

debating if i should get this doctor who looks like dr. mcDreamy to be my obgyn. uggghhh….xoxo.

i wonder if the husband will get pissed if i book an appointment with the hottest obgyn i could find vs. going with the doctor whose got more experience? i bet he’s gonna go with me to the appointment, see this super young doctor, and be like, “uh…you’re no longer allowed to make anymore medical decisions.” i seriously emailed the husband today with the link of this doctor i have to see with the message, “this is the obgyn i want. i hear he’s the BEST.” and by best, just a seriously good looking dude. ugggghhh…xoxo.

as the husband is working at home tonite, i spend this evening looking for potential baby things on amazon i’d like to buy…and apparently, if i say, “omg. this is soooo CUTE! it would look sooo adorbs on the baby.” husband will respond with, “u should get it.” and i’m like…wow…this is too easy. and then i said, “can i get a proenza shouler bag to put baby diapers in?” husband says, “why not?” and then i start laughing. and then he says, “did i accidentally agree to something i shouldn’t have?” good one dude. it’s like he actually sometimes pays attention to me. i swear, i hope i don’t have a child who acts out half as much as i do. ugggghhh…xoxo.

******

October 24

so this morning i’m trying to schedule my first obgyn doctor’s appointment, and as i’m on the phone talking to the secretary, we’re trying to figure out how many weeks pregnant i am so we can determine when my appointment can be scheduled, i say to the secretary, “i think my husband and i HOOKED up about this time…so i guess i’m about this many weeks pregnant.” i can’t believe i seriously used the word HOOKED up. uggggghhhh…..the good news…appointment with dr. McDREAMY is really happening. why do i sound more excited about that than the fact that i may potentially really be pregnant? ugggghhhh…xoxo.

needs to incorporate more folic acid rich foods into my diet. uggghhhh….xoxo.

spending this evening NOT cooking and will be lying on the couch and watching tv for the rest of the evening. uggghhh…xoxo.

Was never informed that potentially being pregnant could leave me so constantly fatigued. I don’t even have the enthusiasm to even feel creative. Ugggghhhh

******

October 25

today’s meals consisted of korean tofu soup for lunch, an in-n-out cheeseburger with fries and a lemonade for a later lunch, and tonite’s dinner will consist of prolly buffalo wild chicken wings with fries, cole slaw, and fried mushrooms. if i am potentially having a baby, this baby will be the fattest thing there ever was. uggghhhh….xoxo.

******

October 29

so very tired…and it’s only 10 am. uggghhhhhhh…..xoxo.

11 a.m.: time for a nap. uggghhh…xoxo.

took a 2 hour nap at work today. came home and i think i need another nap. WTF. ugggghhhhh….xoxo.

******

October 30

besides my normal symptoms of excessive fatigueness, today’s symptoms include a massive headache and nausea. this is NOT going to be a good day for me. i just want to crawl into bed soooo badly. ugggghhhh…i seriously wish i could have just bought a baby…xoxo.

in the process of now canceling all of my plans. this potential pregnancy thing sucks. uggghhhhh….xoxo.

apparently needs to load up on saltines, carbonated water, and ginger.

CRAPS. i had grabbed a salad at vons this morning and realized that my cobb salad comes with blue cheese dressing….and i can’t have blue cheese. DAMMIT. today is seriously the WORST day in the world. okay…it’s not. i know my east coast friends have it way worst. sorry for being sooo ungrateful. uggghhhh…xoxo.

******

October 31

i swear, i have no idea how i can go from feeling nauseated one day where the thought of food makes me sick to craving jack in the box egg rolls for breakfast the next day. and yes, i am currently eating those egg rolls. uggghhhh…xoxo.

******

November 1

my work outfit now seriously consists of a snuggie and me taking naps at 10 am. this is not good. uggghhhh….xoxo.

if anyone ever tells you that pregnancy is fun, they’re lying to u. unless by fun, it means your sense of smell gets heightened where food smells gross to u, yet you’re constantly feeling hungry, you’re always tired, u lack energy, u can’t have caffeine or sushi or unpasteurized cheese, your boobs hurt, and u like feeling nauseated, then yes, i’m having a party, all by myself. uggghhhh…xoxo.

now i’m craving thai food. now i’m not. WTF is wrong with me? uggggghhhhhhh….i wanna cry. xoxo.

******

November 2

Wants gummy bears, teriyaki beef jerky, Godiva chocolate truffles, and real fruit punch. Ugggghhhhh.

I really hope I have a baby cause I have already started planning my baby shower. My bestie asked me how I want my shower to be like and I was like, hello. Fierce and fabulous. And then I told my sister she’s in charge of hosting it and started telling her exactly what I want at this party. I swear, I’ve been planning my baby shower for years…kind of the way women plan their wedding before they even have a bf. ugggghhh. Xoxo

now i want banh bot loc and com tam and some banh beo and che 3 colors. ugggghhhh….

today was a good day. managed to not really need a nap. did not feel nauseated or as fatigue as i usually do. i only had a billion food cravings. and then husband is now on his way home and told me he will NOT be working this weekend. woohoo! xoxo.

******

November 4

Wants chili cheese fries for breakfast with a side of jalapeño poppers. Ugggghhhh

Now wants a tuna melt too. Ugggghhh….xoxo

Just called up my sister and told her if she wanted to hit jack in the box with me so I can grab some chili cheese fries, a tuna melt, and jalapeño poppers for breakfast. She was like, whoa. I was like, hello…that’s gonna be my breakfast. U can order whatever u want. I swear, a month ago, u couldn’t pay me a trillion dollars to eat this stuff for breakfast. Ugggghhh

Currently juicing with the sister. Her juices are brown in color. I am not drinking that. Ugggghhhh

******

November 5

it’s nice to wake up and not feel like utter crap. and seriously, i don’t know what’s worst…feeling nauseated where u don’t want to eat or craving everything in sight and gaining close to 10 lbs. in one week. i may be at the point where i don’t want anyone to see me. i’m horrid, i tell u. horrid. i think i am now officially embarrassed to eat in front of people unless it’s the husband or my family cause i don’t think it’s cute to be eating my plate of food and then ask others if i can have the food on their plate too…or when my mom serves me food, even before she brings it to me, i’ll say, “i’m gonna need double that amount.” ugggghhhh….xoxo.

Debating if I want a second dinner right now. Uggghhhh

I swear, if I am gaining 10 lbs. per week, in 8 months, I am gonna weigh like 900 lbs. ugggggghhhhh. Vince, don’t leave me, please. Uggggh.

Just had my second dinner. After wolfing it down, i was like, maybe i should make myself a 3rd dinner. Husband was like, u should let ur food digest first. Now I just need snacks. I swear, I disgust myself. Ugggghhh

******

November 7

was informed today that the first trimester will be tough but it’ll get better but then it’ll get worst again in the third trimester. it’s like telling me there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but once i see that light, i’ll be going back to hell. ugggggghhhhh…i would like to take this moment to thank the husband for dealing with me so graciously the past couple weeks…what used to be a happy Lo is now a Lo that is incredibly tired, angry, need lots of naps, and the only energy i am willing to put out are ones that incorporate food runs. ugggghhhh…xoxo.

******

November 9

Needs to cut out carbs from my diet cause it tuns into sugar which can lead to gestational diabetes. I really hate my life right now. Ugggghhhh. I swear, before being potentially pregnant, I thought I’d only have to cut out sushi. I was wrong. This will seriously be the longest nine months of my life.

Congee for breakfast. I also decided that I need to set one goal for myself everyday so I can feel like I am accomplishing something so I can pull myself out of this depressive funk. I swear, I know I should be happy cause in less than a year, I may potentially have the baby I have always wanted but I never anticipated these feelings of sadness that seems to grip me. Ugggghhhh.

******

November 10

Today’s goal….don’t lie on the couch for 20 hours straight. Ugggghhhh

******

November 12

having such a hard time trying to stay awake. it’s going to be a very long work day. ugggghhhh….xoxo.

i swear, hopefully this weekend i’m told i’m actually pregnant and not that i’m just now just some lazy sleeping slob who just likes to eat a lot. and seriously, after getting my c-section, if i do indeed am having a baby, instead of sending me flowers, please bring me a nice black passion fruit iced tea, spicy tuna on crispy rice, albacore tuna with crispy onions, nem nuong rolls, pate, and unpasteurized cheese to my delivery room. and lots of deli meats. and sunny side up eggs with maggi seasoning and french bread. btw…7 weeks ago, i wore a size 23 to 24 sized jeans. yesterday, i had to borrow my sister’s size 27 jeans and it felt tight. i don’t even want to know how big i’m gonna be in 7 months. ugggghhh….i want nem nuong rolls soooo freaking badly right now. xoxo.

just called up my sister and asked her if she wanted to get some thai boat noodles with me for an afternoon snack right now. she says to me, “i seriously just ate.” and i’m like, “yeah. so did i. dude…it’s just a snack. come out!” and she’s like, no. uggghhhhh….i guess it’ll just be me and the husband for today’s food craving. xoxo.

******

November 13

currently craving beef chow fun with gravy or indian food. ugggghhhh…xoxo.

almost passed out while talking to my secretary. pregnancy continues to suck balls. ugggghhhhh…xoxo.

just called the husband and told him, “we MUST get indian food tonite.” he says, “yes.” i swear, this dude has been stuck eating all my food cravings which change on a daily basis. yesterday, as he was taking off his clothes and getting ready to head into the shower at 10 pm, i say to him, “VINCE, i’m craving beef jerky. like RIGHT NOW.” he then proceeds to put his pants back on to go out and grab it for me. i was like, “i’m just kidding. u really need to learn to say no to me. i mean, it’s not like i’m gonna DIE if i don’t get this food craving. i’m just gonna go ballistic. that’s all.” ugggghhhhh…xoxo.

******

November 14

this morning’s food craving consisted of me having to hit yoshinoya for a teriyaki chicken bowl for breakfast. my body continues to HATE me and then i wonder why i’m fat. ugggggghhhh….xoxo. btw…yoshinoya changed their chicken bowls and it tastes like crap. this craving was an epic failure. double uggggghhhhh….xoxo.

******

November 15

i should know better than to google birthing questions on google. it only manages to scare the bejeezus out of me. uggggghhhhhh…..

wants enchiladas and an orange bang. and yes, i’m getting fatter with each passing day. ugggghhhh…xoxo.

******

November 16

this morning’s food craving…a strawberry banana orange smoothie. xoxo.

Craving gumbo. Uggghhh

Wants a Cinnabon.

Sending the husband on a chicken tender and charbroiled BBQ chicken sandwich run. Debating if I should call him to grab me some fries too. Ugggghhhh.

******

November 17

Today I got to see and hear a heartbeat in my belly and when I looked at the husband as we were looking at the ultrasound, he was crying. I was like, what? I only had one tear roll down my eyes. I know, I am a heartless bastard. Btw…doctor told me not to announce me being pregnant yet on fb. Husband was like, uh…too late. And yes, the doctor was what I anticipated him to be in person…young and hot. So I continue to be potentially pregnant and I have a feeling if I do ever have this baby, the husband is going to be an emotional mess. Xoxo

when your obgyn tells you that you’re further along in your pregnancy than u think u are, you’re left thinking, “craps. did i cheat on the husband and not even know it?” or “am i having god’s baby?” apparently, they count the weeks of your pregnancy based on the last day u get your period and not when u hooked up. i did NOT know this. also, apparently, u can’t drink green tea cause it screws up how folic acid gets to your baby. now u know. oh yeah…when i was getting my blood test done today {did NOT know they do blood tests on u when u get pregnant}, as the dude was drawing blood, i had my head down cause i can’t stand the site of blood or needles. the dude says to me, “are u still alive? i can’t hear u breathe.” i whimpered, “yes. still here.” ugggghhh….the dude and husband thought it was funny when i was crying as i was being led to the room where i’d be getting blood drawn. dude was like, “uh…i haven’t done anything yet.” and i was like, “but u will.” uggghhh…xoxo.

something u don’t want to hear when you’re about to get blood drawn: “you have really nice veins.” uggghhhhhh….xoxo.

******

November 19

craving pho. just pho. xoxo.

******

November 20

this morning’s breakfast consists of a banh mi thit nuong, a mango smoothie, a cinnabon, and crystal shrimp spring rolls. tonite’s dinner craving are fish tacos. ugggghhhh….i seriously had to hit two locations in order to fulfill my morning’s food cravings. uggghhhh…xoxo.

my obgyn just called me right now to tell me i’m vitamin d-3 deficient. the good news..he says i can have fish tacos for dinner tonite. uggghhhh…xoxo..

to my friends who have babies…what are things babies need? so far, all i got on my list of potential things i may need to buy is a crib and a bassinet and some fabric cloth diapers. ugggghhhh…xoxo.

lately, i find if i don’t have food or snacks around me at all times, i freak out. ugggghhhh…xoxo.

******

November 21

craving chiu chow noodles and nem nuong rolls sooooo badly right now. ugggghhhh…xoxo.

currently THANKFUL for every week that i am able to continue to carry this baby. not to be a debby downer, but my doctor was telling me that there’s a 20% chance of miscarrying a baby during the first trimester. i swear, pregnancy is soooo STRESSFUL! anyway, happy early THANKSGIVING to everyone and i know we have much to be thankful for. we live in a most awesome country! xoxo.

i swear, the only texts my husband gets from me these days usually go along the lines of this, “can we eat [CURRENT CRAVING] once i pick u up from work?” or, “i know i was supposed to try to cook tonite and eat healthier, but now i WANT this.” to all potential dudes who may potentially have a pregnant significant other, be ready to get FAT. uggghhhh…xoxo.

******

November 22

Breaking dawn was seriously the dumbest movie ever! My sister had to bribe me with nachos, raisinettes, and fruit punch so I can sit through the entire movie without falling asleep. She knows I am now easily won over by food. Ugggghhh

******

November 25

Looking forward to getting chiu chow noodles for breakfast. Xoxo

******

November 26

husband’s bday is coming up this week. i asked him if he wanted to go anywhere to eat for his bday. he says, “i want to cook for u.” and then i ask him, “what do u want for your bday?” he says, “i want hugs and kisses.” i was like, “ugggghh.” i swear, i hope our future child is as easy as this dude. with my luck, i’ll get a kid who is a monster like me and want disneyland with 100 of her closest friends. uggghhh…xoxo.

lately, i find myself wanting a volvo station wagon. it’s like…who the F am i? i don’t even know myself anymore. and then last nite, i think i experienced acid reflux. uggghhhh..xoxo.

******

November 27

Wants to take a nap now. Making a sandwich wiped me out. Ugggghhh

******

November 28

so my constant craving every morning this past week has been dim sum…and by dim sum, those fried things with meat inside, a steamed chicken bun, and chicken sticky rice. i really need healthier food cravings. ugggghhhh…xoxo.

despite only being potentially pregnant, i began trying to come up with a guest list for the baby shower of my dreams…and then realized, holy crap, i have 100 names on my list. i think my sister who is hosting it is gonna kill me if i tell her i want 100 guests at my shower, so now i need to figure out how to narrow it down to 30 cause i really want an intimate baby shower. a question to all the dudes out there…do you HATE attending baby showers? i seriously had to google, “do dudes like attending baby showers?” xoxo.

received some pregnancy/baby books from a friend yesterday so this morning i told my husband, “make sure u read those books so our future kid can learn to sleep through the nite early on cause i do NOT want to have to wake up in the middle of the nite due to some baby crying. that’s gonna upset me.” he says, “okay.” if it isn’t obvious, i’m illiterate and i really like my sleep. ugggghhh…xoxo.

started to open up “what to expect when you’re expecting” and the first thing i see are more pregnancy symptoms that women get during the course of their pregnancy and i quickly thought to myself, “F**k me. DAMMIT.” and then i quickly closed up that book. i have a feeling that book is seriously going to scare the crappers out of me. it’s kind of like when my sister tells me how when her friend got a c-section done, the doctor had to take out the organs from the belly and then put it back into the body. and i was like…WTF? don’t they just take out a BABY? ugggghhh…i swear, the LESS i know. the better. ugggghhhh….xoxo.

my mother is WAY more excited about this baby than me. she told me she couldn’t wait to start sewing some custom clothes for this rug rat. i told my mother, “let’s wait till i really do have this baby first or at least till the doctor tells me i am officially pregnant.” uggghhh…xoxo.

HATES it when my fb friends post food pics cause seriously, i now WANT a half and half milk tea with pudding and honey boba soooo badly….and i think that’s something i’m NOT supposed to be consuming in my condition. ugggghhhhh…..life feels soooo utterly tragic right now. xoxo.

******

November 30

Broke down. I couldn’t take it anymore and now having a hong kong style honey milk iced tea. Ugggghhhhh

Soooo freaking ecstatic that my cravings are finally dissipating. Hopefully feeling like crap all the time will be the next to go. Xoxo

Today’s lunch consists of bread and butter pickles and teriyaki beef jerky. And ginger ale. Xoxo

******

December 2

Dragging the husband to the 626 again cause I need my chiu chow noodle fix. I think these noodles have been my constant #1 craving. What’s crazy before this noodle binge is that I prolly last ate these noodles like 5 years ago. Pregnancy continues to perplex me. Ugggghhh.

Wants to start designing a nursery. All I’ve got so far is throwing in a chandelier and wall paper. Husband was like, kids will draw on the wall paper and u’ll get pissed. And I’m like, what kind of monsters would draw on a wall? Ugggghhh.

******

December 3

apparently the husband and i have vastly different parenting styles. he believes in discipline and i believe in letting my child run buck wild. if anyone actually knows my husband, i’m sure once we actually have a child, the husband will be putty in this kid’s hands. i have yet to hear the husband utter the word, “No.”

i’m spending this evening working on a playlist for my potential baby shower and the song that will prolly be playing on repeat despite my guests’ chagrin will be salt n pepa’s “Push It.” xoxo.

******

December 4

debating how badly i want popeye’s for dinner tonite. greasy fried chicken that is going to taste so delicious with it’s first bite and then taste disgusting after my 3rd piece or yakiudon instead. this will be a tough call. uggghhhh…xoxo.

******

December 5

needs to learn to control my cravings. like right now, i want naeng myun noodles soooo freaking badly but i’ve already prepped baby back ribs and bbq chicken along with coleslaw and baked beans for dinner tonite…so do i go eat these cold noodles cause it just hit me 5 minutes ago that i want them or do i go home and eat what i prepped last nite? ugggghhhhhhhhhh….xoxo.

told the husband that this year, we will not be celebrating xmas. i don’t have the energy to decorate the xmas tree. my only xmas wish this year is for us to have a healthy baby next year and for me to finally be able to refinance my underwater condo. please make all my wishes come true…i’ve been somewhat good this year. ugggghhhhh…xoxo. oh yeah…if it’s also not too much to ask, please let me have a girl cause i have no idea how to handle a boy baby. uggghhh…xoxo.

******

December 6

i had ceviche for breakfast. and like seriously, last nite, the husband was like, “how do u come up with your cravings? how do u know exactly what u want to eat? do u see it somewhere and then want it? cause i never know what i want to eat until u put it in front of me.” i wish i knew the answer to that but i don’t. btw…cold korean noodles on a very cold nite was not exactly the best idea..but it sure was delicious. here’s hoping i have no cravings for today cause i really need to finish cooking up those ribs tonite. uggghhhh…xoxo.

sushi gen would sooooo hit the spot right now. ugggghhhhhh….xoxo.

this weekend, my sister and i will be doing some arts and crafts, visiting some babies, having a slumber party, and grabbing dim sum. and yeah…u guessed it, i’m most excited about the dim sum. uggghhhhh….when did food become my kryptonite? oxox.

******

December 7

Craving bun Bo hue, nem nuong, and banh beo. Ugggghhhh

WHERE is my MOTHER? told her i was willing to do some blue collar work today if she picked me up and took me to get all of my food cravings. she says, “why can’t u drive over here?” i said, “it’s cause i’m pregnant.” so she says, “okay.” yes…i’m not officially pregnant yet but i’m learning to use the pregnancy card to get exactly what i want. uggghhh….xoxo.

HATES it when u go in for a haircut and u tell the lady u want it cut to your shoulders and next thing u know, she’s pulling out an electric razor and razoring your neck and i’m like…WTF? how SHORT did u seriously cut my hair? and then when i was able to put my glasses on to see what she did, i seriously almost cried. i currently have something i would like to call WORST than a MOM haircut. it’s like a bowl cut but puffy. good thing i no longer care about my looks. DAMMIT. uggggghhhhh….xoxo.

oh yeah…and then when she was done demolishing my hair, she was like, “do u want me to put hairspray in it?” and i thought to myself, “i don’t think hairspray is gonna fix the travesty that u have just caused to my life.” so i looked at her and said, “NO.” i think she was pissed cause she wanted to do some oil treatment on my hair initially but i was like….what’s the point? yes, i’m the cheapest client there ever was. oh yeah…i also loved it that after my atrocious haircut was done, another hairdresser told me i would look really good if i dyed my hair. i was like…u must be freaking kidding me. LOOK at me! i’m a FREAKING monster. the good news…i now look like a mom. here’s to hoping that tomorrow, my obgyn tells me i’m actually pregnant or else this haircut was freaking POINTLESS and i’m gonna be really pissed. uggghh…xoxo.

needs to start working on some burp cloths cause apparently i’m gonna need craploads of them. uggghhhh….xoxo.

Wants chicken mcnuggets. Good nite! Xoxo

HATES it when my sister tells me that the mcRib is back. she knows i’m not supposed to be eating processed meats right now. ugggghhh…xoxo.

THE MOST PERFECT ANNIVERSARY

My three year wedding anniversary is tomorrow so this morning, I asked the husband if he wanted to hit Bottega Louie or Chaya Brasserie to celebrate or just have spaghetti at home.

He says, “Spaghetti.” And then follows that up with, “I don’t care what we do. As long as I’m spending time with you.”

I puked. Ugggghh…I’m envisioning my perfect anniversary dinner date to consist of grabbing Carl’s Jr. or hot dogs and watching Damages. xoxo.

*********

I broke down and will be taking the husband to Chaya Brasserie tonight. And by taking him, I chose the restaurant and he pays the bill. That’s married life for you, or at least my married life. I guess I felt bad when he said to me this morning, “We should go somewhere nice vs. just having spaghetti at home.” I responded, “Does money grow on trees?”

Best part of my morning was when I spotted this ugly wingback chair on a street corner and told the husband, “OMG…I need to pull this car around and grab that chair. It’s perfect.”

He looks in that direction and was like, “Uh…there’s a homeless guy next to that chair. I think it belongs to him.” I say, “Who cares? That chair will be mine.”

Husband just had this super scared look on his face. And I was like, “I was JUST kidding! I’m not gonna fight with a homeless guy over a dirty chair.”

Husband was like, “Knowing you, i wouldn’t be surprised nor put it past you if you did actually want to take that chair home.” And then he laughed and breathed a sigh of relief.

So I guess that’s my anniversary gift to the husband today…no taking home dirty things I find on the street.

My second anniversary gift to him will be not nagging at him today. I know, sometimes I’m the best wife ever. Uggggghh. xoxo.

*********

You know what’s a bad idea? When you decide last minute to hit a nice restaurant for your anniversary so you didn’t even bother dressing up today. So I’m wearing a pair of a pair of jeans that has six big holes in them…I think I can even see my underwear in one of my holes.

My hair is disheveled because I didn’t brush it this morning and I’m wearing a vintage Kid Loco t-shirt that is cropped with the sleeves cut off and has the words HUSSY on it and of course, I pair this outfit with my moccassins.

I’m going to hit Chaya Brasserie tonight for dinner and they will say to me, “We do NOT serve the LIKES of you.”

I will then give them a dirty look cause it’ll be exactly like the time I hit some fancy dress shop on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills and say, “You just made a BIG mistake. BIG.”

Wait. That wasn’t me. Just a scene with Julia Roberts from Pretty Woman. Ugggghhh…xoxo.

TONITE. WE HOOK UP.

During dinner last night, I looked at my husband and said, “Tonight. We hook up.” My husband responds, “Yes. That sounds like fun.” And I guess when you’ve been married for almost three years, “hook up” apparently means my husband playing video games all night and me falling asleep while watching Dateline. And then I wonder why I’m not pregnant yet. Ugggghhh…xoxo.

MY BEST FRIEND WRITES REALLY SMART THINGS.

This piece of advice is written by a great friend of mine. I love it to pieces! Enjoy!

DON’T READ THIS IF YOU’RE OVER 40**

(Six Things That will Make Life a Whole Lot Easier)

On the occasion of my 40th birthday I thought I’d share a few things with those younger than I am so that they may avoid the nonsense that can to often get in the way of enjoying a good life. Since those over 40 are likely to have greater insight, they can stop reading at this point (unless he or she wishes to add additional tips, which I welcome). But for the growing number of you that fit the equation: x= < my age, here are my thoughts: 1. Edit. Life is short and time is your most precious resource. While you can do just about anything, you can’t do everything. So I’ve found editing is the key to most good things that happen in life. If you want a good script, edit it. If you want to write a good book, edit it. And most of all, if you want good relationships (business, romantic, or basic friendships), edit those too! While some people are very good at it, I’ve never been a fan of general networking—connecting with people with the hope of discovering future or current value to extract from one another. Instead, I’ve just sought out people I liked to work with or people who interested me, gave as much as I could and kept them around for as long as possible. Those that I didn't connect with, I didn't force, I simply I've edited where I could. Mine has been a smaller net but with much stronger ropes. Plus, the more you edit the more bandwidth you grant yourself. So edit drama, edit clutter, edit the time you spend on trivial things and edit those who create great volatility in your life. Edit until all that is left is that which makes your life story the page-turner it deserves to be. 2. Put Life on Automatic Pilot. I have a strange fascinations with infomercials. While I can’t remember buying anything from an infomercial, I find them to be some of the most interesting forms of persuasive media on television. One of the most successful guys in the trade is named Ron Popeil who urges customers of his Showtime Rotisserie to “set it and forget it.” As silly as this sounds, this philosophy is very helpful for acquiring more of what you want and reducing stress. The idea is to create helpful programs cycles in your life that take little or no effort replicating and don’t spend a lot of time thinking of them. Some I recommend: *Retirement Saving – Having money taken out of you salary before you see it will save you a lot of stress in the future (and believe me, the future is coming!). One day you’ll wake up and say to yourself, “wow! I’ve worked that many years?” The good news is by putting savings on auto pilot, you'll soon realize you have something significant to show for it. *Automatic (online) bill pay –Please, just do this if you don’t already. This way your internet won’t get cut off some night you need it and your credit score won’t be dinged because you didn’t have a stamp, which in turn made your payment late. Your credit is the equivalent of your monetary reputation, so I strongly advise you to treat is as sacred. Set it and forget it will help. *Exercise – You don't need to be an Olympian, but you should incorporate some kind of physical activity into your daily life. So just set a reasonable, balanced program and follow along. Don’t complain about it. Don’t kill yourself doing it. Instead, try to make it an non intrusive as possible so, like your retirement, you wake up one day when everyone else around you is deteriorating and realize that little bit of effort has translated into many years of a more active and enjoyable life. *Promise Day –I forget stuff I've said all the time. So I have picked one day of the week where I ask myself what promises I have made or things I said I'd get around to doing. Then I do it (unless I forget again, in which hopefully I remember the following week). You'll find people will give you tremendous credit for simply doing what you claimed you would. 3. Make Friends with Failure. We grow up with many people telling us how to be winners, but I’ve found you can’t truly succeed in life until you learn to be friends with failure. Poker has taught me a lot about this. In poker, one statistically loses more times (hands) than he wins, and yet the lessons learned are priceless. They include a) When you lose, be gracious or nobody will want to play with you again; b) In loss, don't lose perspective—Thinking the result of any particular circumstance (or hand) is a commentary on the rest of your life or who you are is not only unfounded, it can lead to really bad results; c) You get a lot more valuable information from analyzing how you messed up than how you succeeded; and d) Sometimes life is about enduring the losses until it’s your time to shine. Then, when life finally does deal you that winning hand, you ride that success all the way home. Personally, I make so many mistakes, that I’ve often become very good friends with failure. But I try not to beat myself up about it. To win, you need to be a good loser. 4. Aspire to Clear Thinking and Employ Common Sense. Happy, productive people are engaged people who strive for clear thinking in all circumstances. They care about the right result and they are uncomfortable when things offend common sense. I remember the week I was to graduate from college I had gone into the administrative office to ask why I hadn’t received my graduation credentials needed to walk at graduation. The person behind the desk explained that my exercise physiology teacher had forgotten to turn in my grade. That would have been fine, until he added that he was “Sorry, but if the professor hasn’t turned in the grade by x date, the computer won’t let us enter it in the system. There’s nothing I can do” Really I thought? This guy was telling me I couldn’t graduate from USC because of an oversight by my professor and a computer program that had emasculated him! Had I said, “bummer, I guess those years of education and hundreds of thousands of dollars spent where a waste” I’m sure the guy would have smiled empathetically, resigned to the fact there was nothing he could do, happy to let me go on my way. Of course, I finally got a manager who realized how silly the issue was and fixed it, but I’m always reminded that the bar form many people’s mental hurdles is very low and yet they see these things as walls they cannot scale. The good news is that by simply questioning things that offend common sense (and there are endless examples), life will be far more satisfying, abundant and people will see you as a leader. All this for asking the question, "Really,?" There are times we all must learn to cut our losses, but often it’s best to persevere in the defense of common sense in the face of a complacent world. 5. Practice Kindness. Not much to say here other than I have found that there is no greater return on investment than offering simple dignity, civility and kindness to all people life put’s in your path. 6. Imagine How Good the Bad Can Be. Don’t just select people in your life by how good life can be in their company, but also consider just how bad life can be with that person as well. This may sound negative but, believe me, it will save you so much grief and wasted time. Remember you could sit next to Kim Jong-Un at the Academy Awards and still have a great time. The trick is to find someone you want to go through the bad times with (to which I wouldn't suggest Kim Jong-Un). I used to say the best way to propose marriage was during an argument. In the heat of the argument you would stop the person and say, “WAIT! I hear you, but can you be quiet one moment so I can ask you: will you marry me?!” and if she says, “Of course I’ll marry you but you’re being a complete ass right now so first we’re going to finish this discussion!” then you know you’ve made the right choice. Thus, when considering topic #1, who to edit, remember to not to cut those people who you want to go through this crazy journey of life with--good or especially bad. So my 39 year old and 11 month and younger friends, I'm sure there are many other people with greater credentials who can offer you greater advice. All I can say is on this day of my 40th birthday, I have never wanted less, felt better or been more appreciative of that which life has afforded me than I am today. And if you’d like to feel the same at 40, you might try one or two of these things for yourself. Finally, in your youth a lot of people are going to tell you that the best days are behind us (the "good old days" crowd). Take it from me, those people are either lying or delusional. Regardless, edit this information too. When you too turn 40 and if you don't find that life isn't far better than when you were 20, you signed up for the wrong program. Tomorrow is ALWAYS a better day 🙂 Adam Pliska May 1, 2012.

TOM’S. I LOVE AND HATE YOU AT THE SAME TIME.

My new pair of Tom’s arrived in the mail today and I HATE myself for ordering it. Why? Cause it’s one of those shoes that do NOT last very long. My first pair lasted about a year and my second pair, I seriously wore it about 6 times until it started falling apart on me, so I SWORE I will NEVER blow that kind of money on cheap shoes again…and then I was on the Tom’s website…and this pair was taunting me with it’s hearts…and I’m a SUCKER for anything with hearts on it…well…hearts and hello kitty…so I begrudgingly whipped out my credit card and ordered it….ugggghhh…I swear, I hope this pair will last me a good six months cause then, I won’t be feeling like a craphead for blowing $60 on a pair of poorly made shoes. And thus, it’s like me going back to a relationship that I know will most likely NOT end well. Uggggh.

SUCKER FOR PLASTIC WATCHES.

You put the color hot pink on anything, I will most likely buy it.  Thus, this hot pink Casio watch.  Then again, I’m also a sucker for plastic watches.  Okay…i’m a sucker for anything I can buy.  Uggggghh…xoxo.

HELLO KITTY CLOCK.

Okay…I am obviously obsessed with all Hello Kitty things.  It’s not healthy.  Luckily, for this clock, I didn’t have to walk the streets for it…I just had to trade one of my aprons for it, which was prolly one of the most smartest decisions i’ve ever made in my life…besides marrying the husband, obviously.  Ugggghhh….xoxo.

HELLO KITTY APRON. ENOUGH SAID.

When I was in Japan for my honeymoon, I had to hit the Sanrio store…cause I mean, what’s the point of being in Japan if you’re not going to hit the Sanrio store?  Anyway, that place was magical…and what was even more magical was when I spotted this Hello Kitty apron and I knew if my husband didn’t purchase it for me, I was going to literally die or throw a tantrum in the store…I mean, it combines my two passions in life….aprons and Hello Kitty.  Luckily, my husband got it for me so i didn’t die or throw a tantrum.  And seriously, I have yet to use the apron…it’s like my most prized possession.  xoxo.

YES. HELLO KITTY SEWING MACHINES DO INDEED EXIST.

I am obsessed with sewing machines and I am obsessed with Hello Kitty…so when you put them together, i go CRAZY.  So when my gf mentioned getting a Hello Kitty machine recently, so of course, i went NUTS looking for it…so the one i ended up getting is this Janome machine which has Hello Kitty on it.  Not only is this machine the cutest thing ever, it actually works amazingly well…or at least better than the piece of crap Brother machine i got awhile back.  It’s like this machine has magical powers…like unicorns.  xoxo.