THE MOST PERFECT ANNIVERSARY

My three year wedding anniversary is tomorrow so this morning, I asked the husband if he wanted to hit Bottega Louie or Chaya Brasserie to celebrate or just have spaghetti at home.

He says, “Spaghetti.” And then follows that up with, “I don’t care what we do. As long as I’m spending time with you.”

I puked. Ugggghh…I’m envisioning my perfect anniversary dinner date to consist of grabbing Carl’s Jr. or hot dogs and watching Damages. xoxo.

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I broke down and will be taking the husband to Chaya Brasserie tonight. And by taking him, I chose the restaurant and he pays the bill. That’s married life for you, or at least my married life. I guess I felt bad when he said to me this morning, “We should go somewhere nice vs. just having spaghetti at home.” I responded, “Does money grow on trees?”

Best part of my morning was when I spotted this ugly wingback chair on a street corner and told the husband, “OMG…I need to pull this car around and grab that chair. It’s perfect.”

He looks in that direction and was like, “Uh…there’s a homeless guy next to that chair. I think it belongs to him.” I say, “Who cares? That chair will be mine.”

Husband just had this super scared look on his face. And I was like, “I was JUST kidding! I’m not gonna fight with a homeless guy over a dirty chair.”

Husband was like, “Knowing you, i wouldn’t be surprised nor put it past you if you did actually want to take that chair home.” And then he laughed and breathed a sigh of relief.

So I guess that’s my anniversary gift to the husband today…no taking home dirty things I find on the street.

My second anniversary gift to him will be not nagging at him today. I know, sometimes I’m the best wife ever. Uggggghh. xoxo.

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You know what’s a bad idea? When you decide last minute to hit a nice restaurant for your anniversary so you didn’t even bother dressing up today. So I’m wearing a pair of a pair of jeans that has six big holes in them…I think I can even see my underwear in one of my holes.

My hair is disheveled because I didn’t brush it this morning and I’m wearing a vintage Kid Loco t-shirt that is cropped with the sleeves cut off and has the words HUSSY on it and of course, I pair this outfit with my moccassins.

I’m going to hit Chaya Brasserie tonight for dinner and they will say to me, “We do NOT serve the LIKES of you.”

I will then give them a dirty look cause it’ll be exactly like the time I hit some fancy dress shop on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills and say, “You just made a BIG mistake. BIG.”

Wait. That wasn’t me. Just a scene with Julia Roberts from Pretty Woman. Ugggghhh…xoxo.